


Too Late

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Bondage, Bottom Sam, Cock Bondage, Demon Dean Winchester, Dominant/Top Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evil Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mild Kink, Non-Consensual, Protective Dean Winchester, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence, Slash, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-23 21:31:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam follows Dean to finally face what was going on between them after his return from Purgatory but misses the clues too late to realize the danger he places himself in until it’s too late. He must try to fight & survive the brutality he endures at Dean’s hands & hopes his brother can fight his own way free or it’ll be too late for them both. *Hurt/limp/battered/emotional!Sam & Evil/possessed/guilty/then protective/caring!Dean.* Wincest piece. (Dean/Sam)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: I won’t beat around the bush on this one. This story (mostly chapter 2) will contain non-con and rape triggers so be aware of that. It will also have explicit content since it will be Wincest and there will be violence. I’ll also toss out warning for language, kink, bondage. As always each chapter will contain a warning of its own as needed so please read them carefully.  
> This will be a dark piece to start with but this is me so you guys should now I always heal the boys after hurting them.
> 
> Come visit me on Facebook under morganaDW for story updates or to chat.

**Chapter One**

** Present, Whitefish, Montana: **

Dark thoughts, bitter guilt, hate at himself, at others, at what he’d allowed to happen all because he hadn’t paid close enough attention to something that had been on his body for five years.

His eyes were narrowed as he stared into the backseat of the black 1967 Chevy Impala to still see what the vivid memories let him while avoiding the front seat where he still had to try to get the blood, sweat and other stuff off the leather seat but couldn’t begin to bring himself to do that yet.

Unaware of when his breath began to hitch or how his stomach was rolling until he felt it in time to turn away from the car, dropping to his knees and throwing up for what he figured had to be the seventh time since coming back to his own thoughts and realizing what in the hell he’d allowed to happen…what he’d done.

He had scrubbed himself nearly raw with hot water but that hadn’t come close to removing the feelings he could still feel inside him and he knew the cleaning he’d given his brother before trying to clean and care for the multitude of wounds wouldn’t make a difference either because no amount of water, soap or scrubbing would ever take back the past seventy-two hours.

A sound had his head jerking up and his fingers curling around the Colt shoved into the back of his jeans, body taunt now since it had been hard before to not be on constant alert since Purgatory but now it would be impossible for him to relax until he got the damn tattoo fixed.

“Stay…away,” his voice was low and more guttural than even his deep pissed off tone tended to be but it didn’t bother the person who stepped around the Impala’s front end to merely hold his hands up in a classic move to mean he meant no harm.

“You comin’ inside anytime soon?” the smooth whiskey coated voice tinged with a Cajun accent asked curiously, not bothering to take another step since he knew only too well how lethal this young man could be when in this state of mind…and that worried him.

“He…he waking up?” he asked warily, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of a faded flannel shirt while he pushed to his feet to lean on the trunk to let his gaze move to the now quiet cabin and wondering if he’d ever fully be able to feel at ease inside it again…or if his brother would.

“Not yet, but he’s startin’ to move more so I reckon he’ll be wakin’ up soon and since I ain’t his favorite person I don’t figure I’d be the best one for him to see first thing after opening his eyes,” running a hand over his slight beard, Benny took a better look at his friend and didn’t miss the tension running through him or the grim set of green eyes when he finally turned to look at him.

“I’m not the best one for him to see when he first opens his eyes, Benny,” Dean Winchester replied dryly, not a trace of amusement in his low voice but a lot of unspoken and buried emotion. “Hell, I’m probably the worst damn person for Sam to see first until he wakes up fully and…I hope he remembers some of what I said before he passed out the last time.”

The vampire had seen the hunter in varying states of emotion. Hell, he’d seen him fight to stay alive in Purgatory so he knew with a look that no matter how much time had passed since they both escaped that place that a piece of Dean had been fighting to regain the parts of him that he felt he’d lost down there.

The body language, the voice, the strain he’d seen in Dean every time they met up or even talked told Benny that his friend was still adjusting to being topside, to being safe and not having to fight every second of the day and night.

The last time they’d seen one another, before this incident happened, he’d thought Dean was starting to relax even if there was a clear and present strain between him and his little brother. Though Benny figured he was a huge part of that strain since he’d picked up on Sam’s dislike the second they met and it had gotten more severe the longer it went.

Of course Benny knew there was more between the Winchester brothers’ stress and strain than just him and he hadn’t pushed Dean to talk about it even though he could still feel the human’s buried concern and feelings for the brother he’d been treating like a pariah since his return.

Now he wasn’t certain what side of Dean he was seeing or dealing with but the rage was there bubbling dangerously at the surface of a man who had just been forced to watch his own body hurt the brother he still loved despite all the issues.

“You didn’t do that to him, brother,” he remarked, careful with this because while he knew what he’d walked in on he didn’t know fully what had happened in the day in between and he suspected that was what was really bothering his friend. “You know that. You know that you’re as much a victim as…Dean, you might want to take a step back there now or I might have to remind you that I didn’t much appreciate nearly havin’ my skull caved in or my head almost cut off if Sam hadn’t chosen that moment to walk in.”

Benny’s hand had curled around the wrist of the hand that was fisting his jacket as if in warning because he’d managed all of this with only giving Dean a few of the bruises that he could’ve or the younger man thought he deserved.

“Did you see him? Did you see his back?” Dean demanded, voice raw but his eyes kept shooting toward the cabin as if listening for something. “Did you see his…do you know what I did to him?”

“I’m the one who cut the boy loose so yeah, I’ve seen him but Dean…you’re beatin’ yourself up over somethin’ that you couldn’t stop and he let you close to him to clean him up so maybe before you go hatin’ yourself you get your ass inside and be with your brother cause I don’t think you’ll forgive yourself if you let him wake up alone and scared,” Benny told him, not reacting when the clenched fist struck his jaw. “Fine, you take it out on me then so you’ll be calm for him.”

“Calm?” Dean repeated as if he couldn’t believe that word even existed anymore. “How in the goddamn hell do you expect me to be calm?” he demanded, the buried emotions and guilt that had been stewing since he realized with horror what he’d done beginning to bubble out and the hunter no longer cared if the vampire could snap his neck or tear his throat out when all he could see was Sam’s battered and bleeding body and the fear in wide shock filled eyes before his younger brother passed out. “ _I raped him_!”

** Seventy-Two Hours Earlier, Shelby Montana: **

“Enough is enough. He wants to hate me, not trust me, fine. But he’s going to make a damn choice and say it to my face.”

It had been a few months of stress, strain, bitterness and more often than not outright fights between them over his friendship with Benny, a vampire that he met and brought out of Purgatory with him and the reason Sam dropped out of hunting for a year without looking for him.

Sam had mostly taken all the bitter jabs, the little hurtful barbs or glares without saying much since he accepted his excuse for leaving hunting and not looking seemed bad…but he wasn’t about to address the real reason he stopped looking for his brother.

The other week though when Dean had thrown it in his face that Benny had been a better brother to him and hadn’t let him down in the way Sam certainly had it had hurt to the point where Sam had nearly lost it and told his rougher, more intense brother everything that he’d been keeping inside but he hadn’t.

The younger man had continued to take Dean’s bitterness, his doubts and jabs and the simple fact that a loss of Dean’s trust hadn’t been the only thing that changed since his brother’s return from Purgatory.

Dean’s disappointment, his anger and hurt at being left for dead also meant he only showed the most basic older brother concern and even that Sam felt was strained as he’d seen how hard it was at times for Dean to even reach out to take something from him for a hunt and that hurt Sam nearly as much as knowing his brother would rather be with a vampire than him.

Sam admitted that since everything happened with him losing his soul, getting it back to handling images of Lucifer and the rest that Dean’s attitude toward him and the side of their lives that very few people knew they had seemed to have changed.

At first, Sam had shrugged the change off on Dean not wanting to push things so soon but the longer it had went and now especially he had to wonder if maybe his brother had only given in because he’d learned that it was something Sam had wanted.

Actually telling his brother shortly before Dean’s deal had come due that he’d had feelings for Dean that didn’t quite hit the pure and vanilla ones siblings had for one another had upset his older brother and Sam knew then that his brother had given in to the feelings and want Sam had been showing probably because he knew he was going to Hell soon.

When he’d returned, in between fighting over Ruby, the Angels, Lucifer, etc their times together had often been brief and rough; more like trying to just find release rather than love.

For Sam he didn’t care one way or another so long as he had Dean in whatever way he could manage it and he still felt that way…but finally accepted that he needed his brother to tell him what way that was going to be because he was tired of getting hard every time he listened to Dean’s voice drop into the low husky one it could go to or when he’d pretend to be asleep just to see his brother come out of the shower in only a towel.

If Dean didn’t want to pretend to have feelings for him other than being brothers then he wanted to hear that and more importantly, he needed to hear if his brother wanted him gone…if he’d rather have Benny with him and a piece of Sam silently prayed his brother only wanted the vampire as a friend, a fellow survivor of Hell’s backyard and not anything else.

Waking up that morning in Rufus’s old cabin where they’d still been staying since Dean’s return unless they were hunting, Sam found a quickly scrawled note from Dean to say where he was going but not why and finally he’d had enough.

Dean might’ve taken the Impala but that didn’t mean Sam was incapable of hotwiring the old car that was parked behind the cabin since a quick look at his GPS told him that Shelby wasn’t that far from Whitefish and he wasn’t stupid not to know why Dean would take off without waking him up.

He’d done the same often enough years ago when he’d sneak off with Ruby and now Sam understood some of his brother’s hurt and betrayal at those lies because every time he knew Dean was talking with Benny or going to see him it hurt him.

Sam honestly wasn’t sure what he’d say to Dean once he caught up to him. He accepted his brother would be pissed that he’d followed him and that with Dean’s temper and moods these days that was a dangerous thing to make his brother but Sam couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to know the truth or as much of that as he could pull from Dean.

Purgatory had done things to his older brother that it seemed not even Hell could because while Dean had been raw and tense after four months or forty Hell years locked in the Pit, a year in Purgatory had caused a shift in Dean that often worried Sam.

He wouldn’t speak of it except to say it had been pure and Sam hadn’t missed the nightmares or the way his brother didn’t sleep all the way through the night and when he did sleep his hand was always under his pillow which told Sam that if he’d gone to touch his brother in his sleep he’d probably end up with a knife in his gut.

Sam loved his brother in so many ways that it could often confuse him. He still looked up to and adored Dean like his older brother could do no wrong and Sam accepted that was wrong since they’d both made mistakes but it never changed his feelings.

He just hoped if Dean said anything other than being brothers was off the table that Sam could go back to burying those feelings like he’d down most of his life…if Dean even still wanted to be brothers and that was another fear Sam had that he was refusing to think about right then.

Shelby, Montana was a small town of less than four thousand people so Sam used the training he’d been given, as well as an innate knowledge of his brother’s mind to figure out what type of place he’d gone to meet the vampire.

The motel was just on the other side of town, over some battered railroad tracks that had seen better days and really close to looking like something out of an old horror movie but he easily located both the Impala and the battered and rusted out pickup truck that he knew belonged to Benny.

“Fine. I can do this,” he pulled on the other side of the Impala to get out and running a finger alongside the shiny black roof with a strained smile.

For Sam, the Impala had been home, transportation and shelter since he’d been six months old and he’d miss it if Dean made the choice he suspected he would but the car was Dean’s…even if he wasn’t anymore.

Pushing back the sudden urge to go back, to leave this alone and try to pretend that maybe it would fix itself, Sam gritted his teeth in sudden determination and walked away from the Impala, missing a thin line of something on the ground outside by the driver’s door.

Sam took a deep breath, starting to knock when a noise inside the room drew his attention and he was pulling his weapon even as his fingers were turning the knob to go on instincts both his Dad and brother taught him years earlier.

“Dean?” he called quietly, pushing the door open with his boot while peering around it to be sure no one was behind it when a sudden noise across the room caught his attention…as did the disarray of the room itself.

The battered and worn room looked out of date as it were but now it also looked like some kind of fight had occurred because the table was shattered, the bed was off the boxspring and seemed to be leaning, glass covered the floor but as the hunter looked closer and located the noise he felt something icy begin to crawl along his veins.

“Shit,” he whispered, shoving his gun back into his jeans to take a step forward. “Dean? What…what the hell happened in here? What’re…what’re you doing?”

The question came from the fact that Benny was laying on the floor not moving, clearly bleeding from the face but from this angle Sam couldn’t tell if the vampire had attacked his brother and Dean defended himself or if this was another reaction of Dean’s post Purgatory side coming out.

“Dean, are you hurt?” he asked, taking a step that crunched glass and the sound made Dean’s whole body go rigid as his head seemed to drop to his chest, fingers curling tighter around the handle of the machete he had close to Benny’s neck. “You need to talk to me? Did something happen here or…”

“Get…get out, Sam.”

Dean’s voice sounded weird and considering some of the tones he’d heard from his brother over the years that should’ve alarmed Sam more than it did and while it didn’t alarm the younger man it did add another level to his hurt.

“I…I can’t do that, Dean. We need to talk,” Sam took another step only to have Dean’s hand shoot out as if to stop him from coming any closer and he immediately noticed the way his fingers shook. “We can’t keep going on like this. I can’t keep going on like this.”

“Sam, get out…now,” Dean gritted, sounding like he was fighting with something even though as far as Sam could see Benny was unconscious…which did alarm Sam a little. “This is…so not a good time. I…” he blew out a breath, head shaking violently. “I don’t want you here.”

Those few words nearly dropped Sam to his knees because while Dean was good at little zingers or hurtful jabs he wasn’t usually intentionally cruel and while he’d come close to saying those words before Sam never thought his brother would.

“I know you don’t,” he murmured, feeling the tears that had blurred his vision fall onto his cheek and really not caring since if this was it then he’d at least say what he wanted to…or at least some of it. “I get what you’ve saying since you came back. I heard only too well what you think of me now and I get it.

“I get that I’ve screwed up big this time by letting you think I didn’t look for you for a year, that I left hunting right after you vanished and found happy and normal with Amelia. I let you think that and I’ll keep taking the heat rather than ever tell you the truth…because I know by this point you won’t give a damn about the real reason I left hunting…left you,” Sam bit his lip, wanting to reach out but held back as his eyes took in the tremors going across his brother’s shoulder and suddenly realizing Dean was just in a button down shirt rather than a t-shirt and button down like normal.

“Sam,” Dean’s voice was slowly turning into a growl, his temper clearly on the surface.

Sam took a shaky breath while reaching into his pocket for something he’d pulled from a carefully concealed spot in his duffel to hold it out so the small bronze horned amulet dangled from his fist. “No, I’ll leave if that’s what you want. I won’t ask you to burden yourself with your pain in the ass little brother anymore, I won’t ask you to hunt with me, trust me or…love me like I still do you.

“I won’t ask you to do any of that if you can look at me in the face, meet my eyes and tell me that you’d rather hunt with Benny. That you want him riding beside you in the Impala…that you want him…okay, so maybe I’m not ready to hear you say that one,” Sam couldn’t handle hearing he’d been replaced in his brother’s life in all ways even though he knew it in his heart.

“The amulet is still yours. I took it from that trashcan three years ago and always hoped you’d miss it enough to mention it once but you never did so I guess since you’ve made it pretty clear where we sit, that I’m not good enough to be your brother anymore much less your lover then you can take this and toss it again…because I won’t need it where I’ll end up,” slowly Sam dropped the amulet next to his brother and then waited for Dean to speak again.

Dean’s whole body seemed to be shaking, his fingers shifting on the machete handle while his free hand looked to be trying to curl around the amulet but unable to for some reason. “Sam…my,” he gritted between clenched teeth, hearing the sound from beside him and wanting to scream. “I…I…sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Sam forced a smile even as his heart felt like it was breaking. “I guess I knew it would come when I lied to you about not looking. I did look, Dean…I looked for you for four months but you don’t need to know the rest now. It’s over. I’ll…I’ll be gone when you get back to the cabin and…I promise no matter what I won’t call you or text you and I’ll make sure no one else does if…when anything happens.

“I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you gave up for me and I’m sorry I wasn’t a better brother or at least one you could trust and be proud of,” slowly Sam let his hand fall on his brother’s shoulder, feeling the ripples under it and then it stilled completely but he’d allowed his emotions to run free and didn’t feel the change as he closed his eyes for just a second against the blinding wall of tears. “Dad was right. You should’ve just killed me.”

“Not too late to change that mistake.”

The sudden change to Dean’s voice, it was less harsh or strained, and the way his body seemed to be uncurling as it had been caused Sam’s hunter senses to scream at him but just as his eyes were snapping open and he went to move when Sam was given a hard reminder of just how damn fast and agile his older brother was.

Dean’s hand suddenly flashed away from where it hovered over the amulet to grab one of Sam’s ankles to pull him off his feet and before the younger man could blink, get his breath back after it had gone out of him as he hit the floor hard or think to fight back, Sam found himself pinned with Dean’s weight on his chest.

“Dean! What the hell?” Sam was gasping, twisting hard to try to pitch his brother off of him but found that he couldn’t and then froze at the feel of the machete blade just touching his throat. “Please…I know you’re mad at me but…”

“Oh, after that little speech you have no idea what Dean is, Sammy-boy but you should’ve listened to him when he tried to get you out of here…not that it would’ve helped since I was planning on paying you a visit right after I cut the head off of Dean’s vamp buddy,” the voice was Dean but the words…the pitch in tone…wasn’t.

Sam’s eyes shot up as he was forced to keep still to avoid having his own throat cut but when both of his wrists were grabbed and yanked over his head with a strength that his brother did not have, he froze and began to curse himself silently. “Dean?”

“Oh, big brother’s not home right now but I promise you and I are gonna have a lot of fun…or at least I will,” Dean’s smile was cruel as he blinked once to allow green eyes to flash full on black. “Time to take a nap, kiddo and when you wake up you’ll remember who owns your ass.”

Seeing the eyes, Sam couldn’t’ believe it. They both still had the anti-possession…shit! As he now fought fully to free himself from the demon possessing his brother Sam saw what had allowed this to happen and again cursed his own stupidity for not looking before now.

Dean’s tattoo was marred, probably from a fight in Purgatory and that break in two lines allowed some black eyes demon to grab his brother but before he could begin to say the ritual to banish it a hand clamped over his mouth and a fist slammed into his head three times until Sam felt his vision fading.

“I’m going to take real good care of you, Sam and in ways your brother never would have…and you’re going to let me or you both may pay the price,” the demon’s voice sounded like it was in a muffled tube as Sam lost consciousness but not before he felt the pinprick a needle in his neck.

Sam still tried to fight but between the beating to his head, the hand over his mouth and nose cutting off his oxygen and the fast acting drug that was leaving him limp under the chuckling demon, he screamed silently as he felt fingers pulling at his belt and knew what was going to happen and that his brother wouldn’t be able to stop it…if he even would want to.

Thoughts and feeling slipping into the abyss, Sam’s last thought was an apology to once again failing Dean because he hadn’t seen the danger until it was too late.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Blanket warning for this chapter. Violence, non-con with rape triggers. Heavy kinks, bondage, some knifeplay. Use of some toys. Just take the blanket warning for an all-around warning to read cautiously.
> 
> A/N: This is the darkest chapter. The next one will have some violence, of course, but this one will be the worst for actual graphic stuff.

**Chapter Two**

“‘ _You no good, twisted, sick bastard! Don’t touch him!_ ’” Dean Winchester was pissed off and furious but as he watched his own hands undress his unconscious brother the helpless panic began hitting him. “‘ _I will so kill you if you touch Sam_!’”

“Since it’s your body that going to be doing the touching that’s going to be hard to do, Dean,” the demon replied, easily ignoring the hunter’s ragged voice shout and curse as he was trapped within his own mind. “Besides, you can’t get me out and by the time I’m done with your little brother even if I don’t keep him gagged he won’t know his own name much less the ritual to save you, hotshot.”

Dean screamed but it was silent since he was locked in his own private hell as he found himself the second after the demon attacked him two days earlier while he’d been out getting supplies.

The hunter hadn’t realized the tattoo on his chest had been broken sometime during his stay in Purgatory. He hadn’t paid it any attention since he’d had too much other crap to deal with, like the betrayal and hurt he’d felt upon learning that Sam had left hunting and hadn’t even looked for him.

Now as Dean watched helplessly as the demon that was in control of his body finished stripping Sam of his clothes to reach into a bag that Dean noticed it had before and with a sick feeling realized this hadn’t been a common attack…the demon had been planning it and had come prepared with all the tools and toys that it would need to restrain Sam and…

“‘ _No. Oh, hell, no,_ ’” he gritted, pushing with all his strength to try to regain enough control to at least get Benny back to consciousness to possibly help but knowing he’d used a lot the one and only time he’d pushed the demon to the edge of control…right when Sam arrived.

Seeing the array of cuffs, ropes and other things the demon was pulling out had his stomach flipping in sick horror as it began to sink in that this bastard didn’t just want him to hurt Sam physically but… “‘ _I’m not going to…you son of a bitch…Sam knows what you are now. He knows it’s not me and he’s not going to let…_ ’”

“Let has nothing to do with what you’re gonna do to Sammy, Dean,” the demon remarked with a smirk as he got Sam onto his stomach to straddle his thighs while hooking heavy leather cuffs on each wrist and then placing Sam’s arms behind his back to so each wrist touched an elbow and then he hooked those to the leather arm binders he placed on each bicep so Sam’s wrists were locked behind him.

“You’re going to fuck your brother every way I can think of and then when I’m finally done with the two of you I’m gonna have you gut him open like a fish and you can watch him bleed out before I drop your sorry ass,” the demon liked to hear the hunter rail and scream at him as he intentionally stroked Dean’s own hand down the center of his brother’s back. “It’s not like you haven’t done it before.”

“‘ _I’ve never raped my brother before, asshole!_ ’” Dean snapped, cringing and hating how helpless he was and how helpless he’d allowed Sam to become by not paying close enough attention to the one thing he knew he always needed to. “‘ _We haven’t even had sex since I got back because…God, please don’t do this to him. You wanted me, fine but leave Sam alone or…_ ’”

“Your God won’t help you, Dean,” the demon scoffed, taking the time to attach a thick leather collar around Sam’s throat that had many D-rings for various uses but he would make use of those later as he rolled the unconscious and drugged hunter to his back again to reach for the other item he wanted to use while his prey was limp and pliant under him. “Hell, considering the dirty little secrets Alastair dragged outta you during your stay in the Pit I figure Heaven must have broken a few rules of their own to want you as the chosen one for their precious Michael.”

“‘ _Shut the hell up_ ,’” Dean snarled, vowing if he got out of this…when he got Sam out of this, he was so ganking this demon even if it meant killing himself. “ ‘ _What the fuck is that and…oh shit_ ,’” heart pounding, Dean pounded silent fists against the wall of his own mind as he watched horrified as the thing in control of his own body slowly laid out the parts of the complex cock cage.

He and Sam had never gone this extreme before. Usually a simple cockring worked but as his fingers picked up a slender silver cylinder like device, the trapped hunter went cold upon seeing his hand lift his brother’s limp cock but instead of stroking it to try to make Sam respond it pressed a fingertip against the slit before beginning to insert the sound inside, without lube and just a little spit.

“‘ _Wait…I thought you wanted to…_ ’” he refused to say the words as his eyes watched like a distorted powerless mirror as the sound was inserted into the limp shaft to keep his brother from even getting an erection if he wanted to but Dean understood how bad this was because if the demon didn’t want Sam hard then he planned to draw this humiliation out and he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

“Oh, we’re raping this hot tight little ass, Dean,” the demon laughed as he was cursed and threatened but he continued to attach the metal cage snugly over the cock that it knew by the hunter’s own memories what it felt like hard and offered a few lewd comments in that direction just to get Dean agitated. “Little brother here is gonna make you all hot and bothered as we mount him, whip him…I have all sorts of toys to use on him but that don’t mean I want him hard,” he laughed after locking the last piece in place with the special key and pocketing it.

“Just a couple more things before we get Sammy in the car and head back to that cabin in the woods you boys have,” the demon felt Dean still, guessing the boy he was controlling was figuring how this was going to play out. “Yeah, I saw it in your thoughts the second I claimed you and knew it would be perfect. Plus, after I jumped you and before you woke up inside your little glass prison I took the liberty of placing some things down there just for this moment because we both know Sam doesn’t go in the basement…I wonder why?”

Pulling a gag out of the bag, the demon smiled at the low sound he knew the man locked inside want to make. “Spider gag,” he placed the torturous looking thing inside Sam’s mouth easily since the young man was limp, knowing the open mouth style gag would force his mouth to stay open through whatever he planned to do while strapping it in place before reaching for a latex hood with what seemed like an attached gag.

“‘ _Don’t…don’t do that to him,_ ’” Dean’s heart was breaking as he watched as the inflatable gag was inserted into his brother’s pried open and gagged mouth before the hood was slipped on to fit over Sam’s face tightly and in a way that the hunter knew would scare the crap out of his brother once he woke up. “‘ _Damn it! What the hell kind of freak demon are you?_ ’” he demanded, figuring it was just his luck to get grabbed by a BDSM loving demon with seriously sick kinks. “‘ _If this is Crowley’s idea of getting back at us for…whatever then fine, but damn it…don’t do this stuff. Sam’s…_ ’”

“Scared of being closed in?” the demon finished inflating the gag after securing the hood, fingers touching a much larger object before moving on to matching cuffs to place on Sam’s ankles with a short chain that would allow him some movement but not enough to kick or fight too much. “Oh, you have no idea of just what your brother’s been through, Winchester but…I’ll make you a deal.”

Feeling the rage at him back off just enough to say that Dean was listening if not happy about it, the demon smirked again. “I won’t do the full latex BDSM route and stick your boy in this body sack for the ride to Whitefish if you stop being such a pain in my…your ass and sit back and enjoy the show.”

“‘ _Enjoy? Enjoy what? Enjoy watching some demon bastard rape my brother with my body? Enjoy watching you hurt him?_ ’” Dean shot back bitterly but seeing the heavy latex bag and knowing what it was took the choice away from him. “‘ _Fine! I…I’ll back off but if you think for one damn second that I’ll stop trying to push you out or protect him then you’re more twisted than I thought._ ’”

“You wouldn’t be a damn Winchester or any fun if you stopped fighting, Dean,” the demon replied, happy with Sam’s bonds for the moment to stand up and consider things. “As for your mention of Mr. Crowley, he doesn’t know I grabbed you not that he’d give a shit…though he was interested enough to keep an eye on what your brother got up to in the time you were MIA but then you don’t know about that month do you, hotstuff?”

Wishing he could wrap his own hands around his throat, Dean was about to offer a pity reply when that and Sam’s own words hit him hard. “‘ _What the hell’re you talking about?_ ’” he demanded lowly, fearing he’d let his emotions; the pain and effects from Purgatory, get in the way of missing some important thing that Sam hadn’t told him.

“We’ve got a car ride ahead of us where I may choose to tell you the little bits the Boss picked up or maybe I’ll torture Sam until he admits it to you or maybe you’ll never find out just what chased the big and bad Sam Winchester underground,” the demon knew that would be worse on Dean than what he’d seen so far or what was to come. “Y’know, I got to hand it to you how you tried to protect him when he got here, how you tried to get him out of here. How’d it make you feel hearing him break down like that, hero? You two are seriously messed up but it won’t matter by the time I’m done with either of you.”

He considered finishing the vampire since that had been his plan but since he had a much more fun toy to play with he decided Benny wasn’t worth it, knowing after the beating he took that once he woke up and healed he’d slink off somewhere to feed and the next time he called Dean he could handle the bloodsucker that had returned one of Mr. Crowley’s two biggest threats to the world.

“Time to get back to that cozy cabin where Sam can scream all he wants without alerting the cops or neighbors and trust me, hunter…I’m gonna make him scream but then he was a bad boy and left you for dead, right? Isn’t that what you’ve thrown up to him, Dean? Haven’t you hated him and chosen a vamp over Sammy because he left you?” the demon easily manhandled Sam out the door and into the Impala’s backseat where he continued the humiliation by how he tied Sam so his wrists and ankles met with his knees pushed under him. “Well, you’re gonna have plenty of time to work all that anger off on him now and I’ll make you enjoy it or kill you both cause ain’t no one going to come bail your asses out again.”

Dean hated demons as a general rule and he hated this one with a blinding passion but accepted the fault as his own for not being careful to check the damn tattoo that protected him from possession but as he was forced to be a witness to the nightmare to come, his eyes did a quick glance in the side mirror of the Impala and while the demon in control was looking at something else, the hunter still inside him was fighting to find a way to protect the brother he still loved and who he’d misjudged so badly no matter what had to do.

As the Impala screeched off back toward Whitefish, the demon didn’t bother to look back through the still open motel room door to notice both the vampire and the amulet left abandoned on the floor were now gone.

** Hours later, Whitefish, Montana: **

Sharp stabbing pain shooting over his body brought Sam Winchester back to a fuzzy state of consciousness. It took him a full minute to realize it had been the feel of his body hitting concrete that had woken him, another to remember what the hell was happening and finally half of that for the panic to begin setting in.

Quickly forgetting the pain for the moment when he felt the tight latex hood covering his face and the feel of something filling his mouth under the hood, nearly gagging when he found out with building dread that he couldn’t force the thing out of his mouth and that no matter what he did he also couldn’t move his mouth to close it.

Sam jerked to try to free himself or see how bad his situation was only to feel his wrists were tied to his elbows and his ankles were also still tied. His voice was muffled because of the skin tight hood and whatever was in his mouth as he tried to call out, unsure of where he was right then since he thought he had some fleeting memory of air blowing on his bare skin and the sound of the Impala but couldn’t lock those thoughts down.

“So you waking up finally?”

Sam’s stomach clenched at the all too familiar voice that seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere around him. He’d been praying that memory had been a nightmare but as soon as he heard his brother’s voice, no…it wasn’t Dean’s voice…well, it was but Sam needed to focus on knowing it was a demon doing this and not Dean.

“Your big brother was just beginning to worry that I’d hit you too hard or drugged you too much,” the demon moved around the basement under Rufus Turner’s old cabin as he hooked chains to the strong rafters and knew they’d hold Sam’s weight just fine. “Don’t bother straining cause you’re not going anywhere until I move you.”

Not willing to be an easy victim, Sam struggled to try to roll over to his stomach only to gasp around the thing in his mouth as he suddenly jerked as the cock cage trapping his limp cock hit the cement floor, unintentionally hitting the tip that was pressed against the sound inside his penis to cause a vibration to shoot through the hunter and have him screaming as much as he could right then.

“Ahh, don’t like that sound up inside you then?” a hard knee pressed into the small of Sam’s back, forcing him down harder to press the metal cage against the concrete floor. “Or that cage? See, both of those things are going to keep you from getting hard from what we’re going to be doing soon,” the demon smiled as the boy under his knee still managed to fight despite the lower dose of the drug he’d slipped him upon arriving at the cabin. “What about that hood and gags? How much do you like them Sammy-boy?”

Pressing more weight onto Sam’s back, the demon hooked Dean’s fingers through the D-ring on the back of the collar to use it to pull his head and neck back until he heard the muffled sound of pain as it not only pulled his shoulders but also his arms with how they were tied.

Letting some air out of the gag that was attached to the hood, he waited until he thought it was nearly deflated before beginning to inflate it again while tightening his grip on the collar when Sam’s head tried to pull away and knew the boy was fighting to try to push the growing rubber gag out but the spider gag that held his mouth open and the form fitting mask wouldn’t allow that.

“I could’ve used a mask without any airholes so be a good boy and listen to what I’m going to say to you because I won’t repeat it,” the demon growled in a tone that was too close to the tone Dean’s been using since Purgatory but it had the desired effect. “It’s just you and me here because while your brother is watching every little thing I say and do to you he’s helpless inside his own head and won’t be pulling some miracle outta his ass to save you from what I have planned.”

Somehow the knowledge that his brother was seeing this, that Dean was locked inside his own head and virtually helpless, made this worse because Sam wasn’t foolish enough to not know what the demon was probably planning and even if his brother hated him, even if it was over for them in all ways, he didn’t want to think that Dean was forced to watch his body rape him.

Even though it had been years ago, Sam could still recall the pain and terror he’d felt when Meg had possessed him and he’d both terrorized Jo and shot his brother. The other things Meg had done or let be done to his body were still things he kept from Dean but this time there would be no way to do that since his brother was being forced to watch.

A side of Sam’s fuzzy mind had to wonder if his brother cared that this was happening to him or if this would be a way to finish punishing him for Dean’s belief that he hadn’t looked for him.

“No one’s going to save you, pretty boy…and if you don’t want me shoving this blade right into Dean’s gut after I’m done fucking your ass to let him bleed out in front of you then you’re going to do everything I say, when I say it and how I say it or the pain I’ll give you will be to tripled and I’ll hurt your precious big brother too,” the demon, like most all demons, knew the brothers well enough by now to know how to hurt them and wasn’t below using it.

“Now, you’re going to suck on that nice little…not so little now with it fully inflated but you get the idea, penis gag that’s hooked to the mask just like you’d suck Dean’s cock or…maybe that asshole hunter who nailed you a few months back?” the demon felt Sam tense just he the constant bitching in his thoughts slowed down as Dean shut up at hearing this, the prime reason he’d tossed it out there.

“Mr. C. wanted an eye kept on you so he knows the real reason you dropped out of sight when you did…Dean doesn’t though…or he didn’t until I gave him a few hints on the way here but then I didn’t tell him everything his whore of a brother did for…uh-huh, be a good boy now,” he growled, grinding his knee into Sam’s back to force him harder onto the floor just to make the tip of the cockcage bump against the sound to make Sam cry out at the feel of it vibrating up his shaft.

Reaching for the spreader bar he’d dropped on the floor, the demon unhooked Sam’s ankles long enough to hook them back to the bar before adjusting its width to as far as he could make it and smiled as it forced the young hunter’s legs apart and then placed a smaller one between his upper thighs, hooking them to thigh cuffs so Sam couldn’t close his legs at all.

Groaning behind the hood and gags, the pain and burn in his legs and thighs from being spread like this hurt but he suspected nothing like what would be coming soon.

“I’m going to uncuff your wrists but if you try to fight me, I begin cutting Dean and instead of going easy on you I’ll just jump to the main event and fist your ass before shoving this cock it seems you used to like getting in your ass,” the demon threatened, easily freeing the cuffs holding Sam’s wrists to physically yank the still straining hunter to his feet to attach them to the chains that hung down. He also hooked the rings on the spreader bar to hooks that had already been in the floor.

Stepping back to examine his handiwork, the demon chuckled, feeling the locked up rage billowing inside from Dean as he took in the sight of his naked and shaking brother hanging like a piece of meat. “He’s such a pretty whore, ain’t he?” he asked the raging hunter whose body he possessed. ‘Can you remember what he tastes like, Dean?”

No matter how he wanted to answer the problem was Dean recalled only too well the taste of his brother but the sight of Sam like this, knowing the kid had to be scared out of his mind just by the damn hood and multiple gags alone was breaking his heart and he began to push against the demon’s control once more.

“‘ _Why don’t you just get this the fuck over with and let him go_?’” he demanded tightly, watching the way Sam’s chest heaved and knew it was from both fear, exertion and how fast his heart was pounding and he wished he could just offer a single word or touch to try to assure his little brother that it would be fine but even he saw a lie when he thought it.

“Because I want him begging for you first,” the demon replied, hearing the snarl hissed at him. “I want to make him break screaming for you to stop hurting him. If he hadn’t figured it out or if he hadn’t showed up when he did that would be easier than it will be now but I’m pretty handy with this stuff,” he pulled a short whip that had four separate falls that had four of their own strips on it that would leave the human body under it raw and bloody if he used the full strength he had coupled with Dean’s own.

“‘ _Sonuvabitch! You don’t have to do this him!_ ’” Dean had undergone a lot of changes in the year he’d been locked in Purgatory and a small piece of him had thought with all the strain between them that he’d grown as cold and bitter toward Sam as his brother believed but as the whip was brought down with a loud crack over Sam’s chest and his brother’s cry of pain was muffled at the unexpected strikes. “‘ _Take the damn hood off!_ ’”

Several more slashes with the whip until deep red welts began to bleed over Sam’s chest before he lowered it to begin offering equally hard and viscous blows to his stomach, legs, over the cockcage and then moved to begin the same torment from the back.

“No, I want him to feel and hear but not see…plus I like how he looks with that tight latex forming over his face,” the demon could feel the hunter inside pushing for control and let him try since he knew the human didn’t have the strength to pull the stunt he had earlier. “If you look closely you can almost see the tears on his face, the strain as he fights to close his mouth or how he’s sucking on the gag in his mouth to keep it from choking him. Admit it, hunter. You’ve had dreams of getting your too soft and emotional brother tied like this, especially since getting out of Purgatory.

“Or maybe baby brother is right and you’ve gotten tired of him and moved on to…the vampire?” striking harder to cause the muffled scream to echo in the basement, the demon smirked. “Maybe you don’t want Sammy now after you know that someone else had him or how that hunter beat him to within an inch of his life if that pretty little Sheriff hadn’t involved.”

The burning rage at the demon was kindling compared to the lit match that Dean knew he would become if he ever came across Walt’s sorry ass because he owed the stupid bastard for shooting Sam a few years back but knowing what he did now, thinking what else he didn’t know…the stupid son of a bitch was the walking dead.

Refusing to answer the demon’s taunts about Sam now pissed it off Dean soon realized and also realized it would take that anger out on Sam even more as the whipped dropped as the demon stepped up close behind where Sam was suspended with no give in the chains to pull the blade out of Dean’s boot while licking at the blood smeared over his brother’s back.

“You boys have played rough before,” the demon murmured, licking harder but frowning at the taste of Sam’s blood; thinking it didn’t taste right even for someone as twisted and messed up as Sam but forgot it as he pressed the tip of the blade against the straining stomach muscles, feeling the boy jerk at the cool metal. “It gets you hard to watch your knife break his skin, to taste his blood on your tongue to feel the control you have over him like that.”

Sam could hear the demon speaking even as he tried to not fight or respond to the pain he was in but as the blade cut shallowly across his chest before digging in to the softer flesh of his upstretched arm he was glad of the damn gag in his mouth because at least it muffled the agonized scream that would’ve tore from his throat.

“Ohhh, that’s what I want to hear, baby b…” the demon suddenly cut off with a low grunt as the man inside him seemed to have more strength than he gave him credit for. “Huh, don’t want me calling him that, hero?”

“‘ _I might not be able to stop you from torturing him or raping him with my body but I will be damned if you will ever call him that while in control_ ,’” Dean growled, refusing with all the strength he’d built back up to allow the bastard demon to call his brother the one name that only Dean could use and only when it was good between them.

“Big brother has an attitude, Sam,” the demon hated these two with a passion and now would do whatever it took to hurt the boy, spending several long and painful moments cutting and carving into Sam’s flesh until blood was flowing freely and Sam was no longer sucking on the gag but using it to cover his screams but still the boy wasn’t giving him the sounds he wanted. “Guess it’s time we get the party started.”

Not bothering with stripping Dean of his clothes or t-shirt, he just freed the snap and zipper since when he’d taken control he’d handled the boxer briefs first off. “I wanted to draw this out, make you bleed some more or maybe burn you before getting to the nitty gritty but since we have all the time you have left to breath, pretty boy I suppose we can take a break in the pain for some fun,” he pulled Dean’s cock out to stroke it a few times while slipping in front of Sam to press against his chest. “You want to get hard, Sam? You want me to take this cage off and the sound out so you can get hard as you feel what Dean’s about to do to you?”

Jerking away on instinct, a hard fist slammed into his stretched stomach to make Sam gasp and gag around the too large piece of rubber filling his mouth but while the pain of the knife and whip was one humiliation it was feeling the familiar touch of calloused hands on him that suddenly had him fighting in the chains.

He’d missed his brother’s touches, casual or the more intimate ones, as of late but to feel it now…to know it was just because some demon was possessing Dean and making him touch him to hurt them was too much and the panic came back in a rush that made the younger Winchester fight with what energy he had until he heard a low gasp of pain that he knew on some level was his brother.

“That’s two cuts on Dean’s arms, keep fighting me and see what else I’ll do,” the voice was Dean’s but the tone was not as strong hands grabbed Sam’s face over the hood to hold it still to press his mouth against the clear outline of Sam’s trapped open one to begin to growl while forcing hard biting kisses over Sam’s mouth, along his jaw. “Let me hear some sucking or else Dean’s gonna be in some…that’s a good boy.”

The demon smiled when despite wanting to fight, his concern for his older brother still getting the better of him and Sam’s mouth struggled to suck on the gag again only to writhe again as something pushed behind his trapped balls to stimulate his prostate from the outside.

The massage wand made Sam’s body move on its own in seek of some kind of help, his cock wanting to get hard from the over stimulation but the cage and sound refused any type of erection and he was left to moan against the feelings when he felt the pressure move to behind him but even in his dimming consciousness Sam could tell his brother’s body was not as hard as Dean normally would have been.

“You ready to scream for Dean now?” the demon asked, licking and biting with more force than his brother ever would. “You ready to scream and beg for him to stop? For him not to sink into this tight ass?”

And just like that it hit Sam was this was about. This wasn’t all about a demon getting off on some S&M kick. It was about hurting Dean because while Sam was the one bleeding and would be hurting more soon it would be his brother who paid the ultimate price because as Sam knew well or he once knew well since he wasn’t sure how Dean felt or would feel now but the guilt of this would drive his brother insane…even if he hated him.

Sam’s body suddenly stopped straining on the ropes. He stopped sucking on the thing in his mouth and went as still as he could despite the wand still pressing against him and also vibrating the sound in his cock but he might not be able to cast out the demon while gagged and he couldn’t stop this from happening but he would not give this sick minded demon the satisfaction of hurting his brother anymore than this would by fighting it.

“Hey! I want to see that hot body squirming,” the demon growled, hitting Sam in the back harder when the boy still refused to move again or make the sounds he wanted to hear. “Bad mistake, Sam. I’ll make you scream for him now.”

Realizing he wasn’t going to get Dean harder than he had, he dug fingers into Sam’s hips before pressing the head of Dean’s cock against the tight red hole in Sam’s ass and without a care for pain or damage thrust hard to feel it go in to the first ring of muscle, hearing a soft moan but nothing like what he’d been expecting by taking the hunter dry.

Dean’s locked up thoughts were horrified by this as he watched his body thrust and rut against his brother’s ass without any type of prep work or stretching and knew the sudden moisture he felt was blood as soft skin and tissue tore form the brutal violation. “‘ _Sammy, I’m sorry_ ,’” he thought to the brother that wasn’t moving under the sexual assault, rage building as his fists pounded on his prison. “‘ _Stop! He can’t take me like this without any kind of lube or stretching! Give him a chance to…shit!_ ’”

After several more growling thrusts, the demon finally went flush with Sam’s ass but didn’t pause to give the shaking but still silent hunter even a chance to adjust before he began to use Dean’s body to thrust harder and harder but whether it was Sam’s sudden change or Dean’s own body’s refusal to get hard at raping his brother, the demon was losing patience.

“Move, you piece of shit!” he kept rutting, fingers jerking Sam’s head back to bite his shoulder but it was Dean’s eyes that noticed the way his brother whimpered but was going more limp in the chains and feared Sam’s wounds and the shock of this had hurt his brother more than anything else had or would. “I’ll kill both of you!”

Pulling out of Sam with a hiss as it hurt coming out as it had going in even as blood could be seen trickling down the insides of Sam’s legs as he hung lifeless it seemed but the demon stalked around to begin to give rapid and hard fist strikes to the hunter’s defenseless head and body despite Dean’s best attempts to slow them down as he felt some minor control ease back when he was able to keep the damn thing from going for the blade again.

“I’m going to skin him alive, Dean!” the demon snarled, furious at being denied like this and promising every vile and sick thing he could think of as he drew his fist back to throw a punch toward Sam’s throat, a blow that would kill the hunter if it connected. “You both think you’re so upright and perfect? See how much you think that as you watch me skin your brother but first…let’s see him choke on his own blood!”

“‘ _NO_!’” Dean thought he heard his own voice scream but wasn’t sure as he felt his arm go back to deliver the blow.

Dean fought with all his strength to prevent this when he felt a sudden grip like steel, a grip he knew, grab onto the wrist before it struck Sam’s throat to give a hard and swift yank to pull his body away from his helpless little brother and across the room.

Before the demon inside could blink, a hard body connected with Dean’s to hurl him into the far wall with a heavy and strong arm going across his throat while fingers tightened on his wrist with enough force that bones grinded together.

“I think you and me need to finish that little conversation we were havin’ at the motel before you suddenly decided to cave my skull in…brother.”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here, readers? Yes, I promise before the end Sam will get some extra healing and loving for what he just went through. Next chapter won’t be quite as dark…though Dean may get some bruises since the demon’s still in him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Language, of course and some minor violence of the physical nature but nothing too graphic this time.

**Chapter Three**

_“I think you and me need to finish that little conversation we were havin’ at the motel before you suddenly decided to cave my skull in…brother.”_

The unexpected voice and attack took the demon by surprise but not enough that Dean could regain control fully or give a warning.

“…Benny!” he heard his own voice gasp out and could see the wheels of deceit whirling as the demon possessing him tried to turn this to his advantage. “Wait…I…ack!”

The arm pressing into his throat tightened. “We did Purgatory together, Dean. You should know by now my patience only goes so far and…the fact that I ain’t ripped your throat out should give you a clue that I’m still listenin’ to whatever explanation you want to give for nailing me,” Benny’s voice was low, the Cajun accent heavier as it got when he was angry and fighting back to urge to allow the fangs to come out.

“Now’d be a good time to talk and…sweet Holy…yeah, start talkin’ to explain this,” the vampire had just gotten his first good look at the younger Winchester still hanging limp from chains and the smell of Sam’s blood was making it harder for him to stay in control. “Talk! Or I talk and I don’t think you’ll like it if I do.”

“I…I was…possessed,” the demon struggled against the vampires’ strength, a little surprised that the damn fanged freaked appeared stronger than he was. “Demon got in me before we met and…I attacked you…it attacked you but when Sam showed up…it jumped into him and…”

Benny arched an eyebrow as he took in this plausible excuse, not letting go but relaxing his grip a little while looking into Dean’s eyes as if searching for something. “So…this demon left you to go into Sam because…?” he left it hanging as he stepped back from the man that had brought him out of Purgatory to step closer to Sam.

“I don’t know,” the demon smirked a little inside at how blindly stupid the vampire was to just trust Dean again, listening to the hunter fight again but quickly tried to push back what ground the boy had gained in his fight for control. “Maybe he figured all the crap Sam’s done, the demon blood, his time in the Cage or whatever else made him a better choice…Sammy’s always been the black sheep afterall.”

“Huh,” Benny grunted, walking around Sam as if looking for himself but also keeping between the Winchesters.

He took in the obvious injuries on Sam and the not so obvious ones. The vampire also noticed the more extreme things like the hood that formed so tight over the boy’s face that the gags in his mouth were plain. The collar bothered him and the cockcage was also a surprise to him but what made him still were the bruises and blood he could see on Sam’s spread and locked thighs.

Benny had been in Purgatory a long time but had known Dean the year he’d been there. They’d fought each other at first since the stubborn boy was still hunter enough to not trust a vampire but soon Dean had come to understand if he wanted to survive to return to the real world, to the brother he’d left behind, that they’d have to work together.

In those long months of fighting, slogging through the worst Purgatory had to offer the vampire had learned a great deal about Dean Winchester and also about the little brother he almost never shut up about.

It hadn’t taken Benny long to figure out that the relationship between the brothers extended far past normal or healthy but considering what he was and some of the things he’d done before, during and after becoming a vampire he hadn’t judged.

Of course Dean had never come right out and said he and his little brother, the one he spoke of often like either an exasperated older brother, a proud papa, or a devoted lover, were more than brothers but Benny had been reading people long before he became one of the undead and had picked up on the subtle changes in the mortal whenever he spoke of Sam.

He’d also seen it for himself the first night he and Sam had met before the younger man figured out what he was with just a handshake. He’d seen the look that passed between his friend and Sam the moment their eyes met and picked up on the vibes between them but he’d also picked up on the devotion Dean still had to his brother even when their fights got worse.

Benny understood there’d been some strain between the Winchesters, especially over him, but he also knew Dean had been trying lately to get past it and that was why the vampire happened to be this far up in the country when he and Dean agreed to meet up one final time to square things away.

Looking at Sam now, the cuts, bruises, blood all over his body as well as the clear attempt to humiliate the kid as much as possible was making a low ball of something coil in Benny.

“So all this is to what? Drive the demon out?” he asked, laying a hand on a bare shoulder to hear the faint muffled whimper but no movement and he honestly expected Sam to jerk if he was conscious enough to hear his voice.

Sam had never made any attempt to hide his dislike of Benny and the vampire knew it. Though he also suspected Sam’s feelings were less about him being a vampire and what he might be to Dean and if he went by what he’d heard while pretending to still be unconscious in that motel room then he was right and his damn friend had no clue just how much this kid was hurting.

“Yeah, the more pain and stuff you cause and the demon will get fed up and leave,” the demon in Dean was eyeing the vampire carefully and waiting for the time to move. “He’s in Sam…tight so I had to resort to…”

“Raping your brother after you torture him?” Benny smirked a little, walking around to the front to see the massage wand still turned on and with a small snort that could’ve been a low curse he gave it a touch to knock it away and his more intense hearing didn’t miss the sounds from Sam but it was the odd beat of the young man’s heart that gave the vampire a better idea of his timeframe. “That how you plan on beating this thing, Dean?”

From the corner of his eye, Benny caught the flicker of movement on his friend’s face before turning his back to Dean to face Sam fully. The scent of blood was strong this close and it was harder these days to rein in the urge to drink warm blood from a living human.

“Best way I know how,” the demon in Dean replied, moving slowly to pick up something from a table while smiling. “Since I kind of owe you for the motel thing…go ahead. You need to drink, go for it,” he felt Dean’s mind pushed extra hard at this invitation but ignored him since he figured he could kill the freak when he was distracted.

“You’re…you’re gonna let me drink from Sam?” Benny’s voice deepened, feeling the fangs coming out as he lightly touched Sam but this time felt him tense and knew the kid was with it enough to know what was being said. “What if drinkin’ from him ain’t all I wanna do, brother?” he asked without looking, hearing too good to not be able to tell where Dean was behind him.

Dean had been struggling to scrape up some kind of foothold to at least get some control back to his voice or even a damn finger when that question nearly knocked him back and he felt sick to his stomach. “‘ _No, Benny. Damn it. Not Sam_ ,’” he knew the vampire couldn’t hear him.

He felt the demon’s building glee and feared he’d be killing two things before this was over because no matter what he felt he still might owe Benny the second the vampire puts his hands on his brother in any way, shape, or form it was over for them.

“Feed from him, fuck him…do whatever you want,” the demon suddenly realized this might be even better torture as he forced the trapped hunter inside him to watch what he thought was a friend rip into his brother’s already battered and marred flesh before he uses him in another way. “What’s mine is yours.”

Benny’s hand moved over the collar while shifting his body a bit closer, leaning in as if to bite while murmuring something low as if speaking something filthy to the clearly barely conscious young hunter. “That’s mighty nice of you, Dean,” he spoke casually, almost tasting the blood he was so close to and hoping Sam understood him. “Don’t mind if I do…except…”

The demon’s fingers had curled around a heavy piece of wood that must have broken off of something; waiting until the vampire was firmly locked on the pulse point of Sam Winchester’s neck to lunge with the intent of shoving the sharp object into Benny’s back.

Expecting an easy kill, the demon inside Dean was shocked when a hand flashed up to grab him by the throat and throws him back into the table, breaking it and sending its contents scattering over the floor. “What the hell?”

“Except…I don’t relish the thought of having my damn head cut off for real once Dean gets back into control of his body,” Benny smirked at the look of stunned shock, stepping away from Sam with no sign of blood anywhere but his hand where he’d touched an open wound. “You really that shocked that I wasn’t stupid enough to fall for the lies pourin’ outta that mouth? You think I wouldn’t take a look at what I came in on, what I see’s been done to him and not figure out where the demon in this picture really is?

“Dean Winchester has already made it real damn plain what he’d do to me if I ever thought about touching Sam in any damn way,” the vampire’s eyes were hard as they watched the body of his friend pull itself up and reach for a blade on the floor. “You got a little too cocky there, son or you over estimated just how tight me and Dean are cause let me tell you right now no matter how screwed up his head might be right now or how big of an ass he seems to be getting toward his little brother there ain’t no way in Hell would he ever just tell me to do what you did.”

The demon howled on the inside, vowing to kill all of them as soon as he got the chance but charged Benny with the knife only to grunt when a hard knee connected with his midsection and a tight hand gripped the wrist holding the knife until it dropped to the floor.

“Bastard,” he spit, tasting blood or Dean did when his jaw bounced off a pole in the middle of the floor. “Just figure…you and Winchester got so…close down there that he’d share what he’s tired of now, especially now that he knows just how much of a whore his little brother was used as.”

“Now y’see that was what clenched it,” Benny didn’t want to hurt his friend so he wasn’t using his full strength as he easily kept the fight to the other side of the room away from Sam and more toward what he thought he’d seen upon arriving. “Dean and I spent a lotta time exchanging stories down there while he fought to survive and he talked a helluva lot about this boy but the one damn thing he never openly admitted to me…and the thing you pretty much did was that Sam was more than just his brother.

“Dean would never tell me to drink from Sam because he knows except for that one time I don’t drink humans and he sure as hell would never tell me to rape his brother like I figure you tried to get him to do or did, because no matter how much they’re fightin’ he loves this boy too much to ever hurt him like that,” ducking another wild blow, Benny knew it wasn’t his friend’s reflexes in control since he’d seen Dean fight too smoothly down in Purgatory.

Catching the next wild fist to jerk the arm behind Dean’s back, twisting the wrist up to the point where if Benny wasn’t careful he’d hear bones break he used his other hand to lock his fingers around the throat of the man he knew could easily kick his ass if he was in control. “Gonna get you out of this, Dean,” he assured the hunter, hoping he could hear him as he gave a hard shove to push Dean’s body into an old chair that had always been sitting in the basement.

“There’s no one who can save him, vampire!” the demon snarled, shoving up again to go to lunge only to fall back into the chair with surprise. “What the fuck? What’s…”

“Dean did talk a lot about what he did, what hunters did so I figure this was a hunter’s place,” Benny knelt down as the demon fought to move but something kept knocking him back. “Old place like this I figured it probably had one of those nifty little things someplace in it to keep your kind trapped for a good long while and it looks like we found it,” he lifted his eyes up before a small smile crept on his face as the demon in Dean caught sight of the Devil’s Trap on the ceiling. “Guess you won’t be going anywhere.”

The demon screamed and raged at the sudden entrapment but then the scream went louder at the sudden splash of Holy Water in its face and it jerked, eyes flashing black while glaring. “You can’t get me outta him and the freak over there certainly can’t so…ahrrh!” he screamed at the rapid burn of the consecrated water. “You’re no better than I am so how about we work togeth…argh!”

“No, demons are slightly below what I am in my book or at least that’s what my great-grandmother always preached,” Benny capped the flask he’d found in Dean’s duffel as a noise behind him reminded him that he needed this black eyes thing out of his friend because while he could get Sam down he suspected that touching to help him would be an entirely different story. “After what I heard you spout back at the motel and here, yeah…I figure you weren’t much better when you were alive than you are now.”

“So my kinks are any worse than these two?” the demon spat, straining against the trap keeping him in this one place. “If he hadn’t walked in when he did, Sam would’ve let me do anything I wanted to him cause he wouldn’t have said no to big brother no matter the kinks I pulled out…and I had some really wicked…” he grunted as the words cut off.

Benny watched closely before it hit him what was happening, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. “Dean fought you back there. He tried to get Sam out before he was overpowered again but what the kid said kicked him in the gut and you’ve just finished kickin’ the man while he’s down,” he watched the tiny muscles on the elder Winchester’s face jump as beads of sweat began to form.

“Y’see, I’ve told him before he can’t let what happened in Purgatory wear at him like he had been. Sure, now it looks like maybe Sam’s been keepin’ something from him about the time he was gone and that won’t be good, especially since you’d be the one who told him but then demons lie,” the vampire had heard enough before and now though to know this one hadn’t been lying to his friend and everything Dean thought about what Sam had been doing the year he was stuck was false.

“I didn’t lie to him,” the demon sneered, proud of the fact of what he’d revealed. “Why lie to him when telling him exactly what happened to his precious little brother hurt so much more? He hated Sam before so now he had a reason to hate him more and he sure won’t want to…damn it!”

More Holy Water tossed shut the demon up but it was Dean’s hands that Benny watched now because he’d caught the straining muscles and the way his friend’s fingers were jerking as if wanting to curl into a fist the more the thing bragged.

“No, Dean doesn’t hate Sam,” he corrected quietly, hoping his friend would at least believe this since he figured Dean’s guilt would be riding high already after what he’d seen and heard. “Sam might think he does and after the crap Dean’s said and done he’d have a right to think that but in his heart if he thought less of his brother, if he didn’t care…he wouldn’t have tried so hard to touch this when Sam dropped it.”

The bronze amulet slipped enough from Benny’s hand to allow Dean’s flicking eyes to catch it and the vampire immediately caught the change in his breathing. “You told me about this little thing too while we were down there, Dean,” he kept his eyes locked on Dean while ignoring the filth coming from the demon. “All about how Sam gave it to you one Christmas and how you kept it until too much crap got between you two and you tossed it…”

“That’s right. He threw it away like he’ll throw little Sammy away if the kid lives through this after I get done,” the demon broke in, voice getting tighter as if he were now fighting to keep control. “I’ll skin him alive after I fuck him for days until he dies of it or…”

“Shut the hell up!” Benny snapped, having had enough of the demon in charge. “You aren’t touchin’ that boy again and it’s time you went back to your boss cause Dean’s got stuff to do.”

The demon suddenly stopped raging and yelling to sneer like he had all the answers. “How do you plan on getting me out without killing Winchester, vampire?” he asked with a laugh, jerking his chin at the amulet. “You think a little piece of crap is going to force me out?”

“Not this little thing, but I figure this one here might have a better effect,” Benny pulled the other item out of his pocket to toss it into the hand that Dean’s own body seemed to be struggling to control, smiling as the fingers curled around it and the demon screamed. “Anti-possession medal in his hand ought to be making it real hot for you…but nothing like this will…”

Before either Dean or the Demon knew what was happening Benny was speaking again and suddenly the demon was clawing and fighting and the hunter’s insides felt like they did the night a hellhound chewed him up.

“ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica_.”

The Latin of the ritual wasn’t smooth like Sam could rattle the damn thing off…forward and backwards it seemed, but the fact that Benny knew the damn thing shocked Dean almost as much as feeling it start to work.

“…Benny,” he felt the demon retreat for a moment but knew it was a short moment and needed to make it count. “Shit…the knife on the floor by…” he felt sick as his blurry eyes moved to where his brother still hung naked, bleeding and in shock. “…by Sam. Grab it and just…kill me, man.”

Dean could feel the demon getting stronger and knew by experience that this thing wasn’t going to let go easily and he wasn’t going to let it near his brother again. “You…I can’t fight it again…I couldn’t stop it from…” again he looked over and remembered how much he’d struggled to keep it from touching Sam. “You have to kill me so it doesn’t get him again.”

“Not gonna kill you, brother. You’re gonna beat this damn thing and get Sam through this,” Benny then saw something he had never seen in the hunter before and that was fear; a deep fear that either he wouldn’t survive this or he couldn’t help his brother. “You trusted me to get you outta Purgatory now trust me to do this.”

The hunter started to reply but then screamed, green eyes flashing back and teeth bared in a snarl that might have intimidated anyone else but Benny just smiled a little and let his own fangs show.

“Got more on you there, son,” he remarked, hoping he actually remembered the full ritual or else this could end up with his friend dead anyway.

“ _Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te. Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare_ ,” a vampire saying the rites of exorcism might have seemed odd but then Benny hadn’t told Dean everything about his past or his family and he figured having a strict Catholic great-grandmother who thought everything in the damn town was evil and a great-uncle who was an actual Bishop had to come in handy after all this time. “ _Vade, Satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis. Humiliare sub potenti manu dei, contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine, quem inferi tremunt.”_

The demon inside of Dean was fighting to hold on. “I’ll kill him before I let go!” he screamed, unable to move off the floor as the ritual was burning fire to it. “I’ll kill them both and…”

“No, you won’t you bloody monkey.”

Benny was about to speak the last verse when the unexpected accented voice spoke and the vampire was tossed across the room and with a ragged scream, Benny watched a mass of black smoke pour out of his friend’s mouth to leave Dean on the floor struggling to breathe and the smoke hovering as if stuck.

“Hello, boys.”

The new arrival was short with thinning black hair, a slight scruff dressed in a dark suit and clearly not welcome if the vampire took Dean’s muttered cursing to mean anything.

Dean had felt the demon fighting the exorcism and knew Benny last resort would be to kill him when too many things happened at once but all he knew was that he had full control back of his mind and body as soon as he felt the shocked demon being yanked out of him and then a voice he hated nearly as bad as Alastair was heard through the roar of his own heartbeat and breathing.

“ _… …sonuvabitch_ ,” he groaned, not even bothering to try to move right then but finally did pry one eye open to throw a glare toward the steps. “Didn’t we…demon proof this place…oh, shut up,” he saw the demon mist hovering and drew in a slow breath.

“Well if you had you wouldn’t have gotten back in after this handsome fellow decided to ride your ass, Dean,” Crowley clucked his tongue as he took in the basement scene, eyebrows lifting when he got to Sam. “Well, well, this something new you and the Moose are into or have I been left out of the loop again?”

Catching Benny moving from the corner of his eye Dean tried to focus his attention on the King of Hell who had apparently decided to pay them a visit and must have yanked the demon loose. “What…what’re you doing here, Crowley?” he demanded, not in any shape to deal with this when all he wanted was to get to his brother. “Disappointed in what your demon didn’t do or come to finish the damn job?”

“Cranky, cranky, Dean,” Crowley smirked, moving a hand to jerk the black mist closer to him as if glaring at it before it went up in a flash of flame that stunned the hunter. “A little more appreciation to the demon who pulled that misbehaving asshole out of you since it would’ve killed you before it let the vampire pull it out,” he eyes Benny curiously before offering a tiny smile. “Nice form but the wrong accent on the Latin wasn’t having the same effect that Moose or even Squirrel here have and speaking of my favorite Moose…”

The second Crowley took a step Dean was fighting to get up or at least to try to protect the brother he’d failed so badly. “Stay…stay away from him,” he groaned as his whole body wanted to collapse, feeling a hand under his elbow to pull him upright even if he wasn’t steady. “Your damn demon had some sick kinks and decided Sam would be a good outlet for ‘em.”

Crowley enjoyed teasing and playing with the Winchesters even if they were the biggest pains in his ass and he’d always suspected there was more to them than the squeaky clean bleeding hearts they let on to be but as he gave a brief glance at Sam now he frowned a little.

“I pulled him outta ya, didn’t I?” he groused, stepping back. “I didn’t order the damn moron to go after you but I’d get that pesky piece of ink fixed soon cause you two darlings are just so irresistible to my demons especially Sammy here. You know what they say about sharks scenting blood and they’ve been wanting to go after him since I figured out what that other sod did while you were playing resort in my backyard.”

“Get the hell away from us,” Dean growled, feeling the warning fingers dig in tighter to his arm but by this point he was tired of demons and wanted the king of them gone. “You got your damn pound of flesh. You’ve finally might’ve done what no one else has been able to do and that’s tear us apart cause you seriously think after whatever the hell else he’s been through that Sam’s going to be able to heal from this?” he demanded, unsure if he was talking to Crowley or to himself. “Get out and I swear the next black eyed bastard you send close to my brother will be the last one and I’ll rip your goddamn throne down with my bare hands.”

It wasn’t like anyone spoke to him that way these days or not since he got the promotion as King of Hell but then as Crowley knew well Dean Winchester wasn’t just anyone and he was also one of the few men who could actually do what he promised.

“Take care of Moose, Squirrel…you’ll both need it,” Crowley was gone just as quickly as he came and only Benny’s hand on Dean kept the hunter from falling when his legs gave out.

“Damn, you mouth off to anyone who can yank a demon out of you like that?” the vampire wasn’t certain who the other man had been but he was fairly certain talking to him the way Dean had wasn’t smart. “Sit down and…”

Dean didn’t sit so much as collapse to the cement floor but then his eyes shot up. “Get him down,” his voice was ragged, scratchy but his full focus was now on Sam and no matter what happens soon he just wants to see his brother loose and to get the damn hood off of him.

Leaving Dean where he was, Benny went back to eye the chains and cuffs while listening intently and was relieved that Sam’s breathing, while labored, was steady though the erratic heartbeat worried him but not like the locks did.

“You got the keys cause I ain’t picked a lock in more years than he’s been alive?” he asked, hearing Dean offer a mutter as he worked his stiff fingers into his pockets until finding what he hoped were the various keys Benny would need.

Taking the keys, Benny noticed his friend had slipped the anti-possession medal back over his head. “Here, you may want this,” he tossed the other amulet over to see it be caught easily as if Dean’s reflexes were returning the longer he was himself and wasn’t surprised when it too was put back on.

Though with this one, he noticed Dean’s shoulders relaxing some as if putting the horned bronze amulet back on took some weight away…until Sam made a muffled sound and then it was back even as the hunter’s green eyes watched every move Benny made.

“I should’ve gotten him down before dealing with you,” Benny sighed, knowing if Dean would’ve had the strength he would be doing this but right then he wasn’t sure if his friend had the strength to move much less stand or handle Sam’s nearly dead weight. “I thought he was conscious for a bit but now…it might have been better if he wasn’t.”

Dean wished he could say that his brother had fallen unconscious or had stayed that way but he knew the drug his brother had been given and feared that might not be the case.

Careful of where he put his arm to he didn’t hurt Sam more than he was, Benny’s strength was able to support the younger man while using the keys to free his wrists from both cuffs but had to move quick as Sam went limp and only the spreader bar and cuffs on his ankles and the other damn bar kept Sam from folding in on himself completely.

“Give him to me,” Dean had moved close enough that Benny could ease his brother down to him while unlocking the other restraints.

“He’s covered in blood, Dean,” Benny warned but got a look that meant his friend didn’t give a damn and he carefully moved Sam until he was close enough that Dean’s arms could reach up to take him the rest of the way down.

“Sammy,” Dean whispered, not missing the tremors going through his younger brother’s body but couldn’t be sure if they were from cold, shock or worse as he gently gathered Sam as much into his arms as he could right then until Benny got his ankles free.

The ankle cuffs and the first spreader bar came loose but as Benny went to remove the smaller bar, a hand gripped his wrist with more strength than he expected Dean to have yet. “I’ll do the rest.”

Understanding that the rest meant not only the final spreader bar but also the damn cockcage, the hood and gags, Benny slowly nodded and stepped back but stayed close in case his friend needed anything.

“Go upstairs and grab a blanket or something to get him wrapped up with,” Dean could feel the chill of the basement coming off of Sam’s skin as he freed the last bar, resisting the urge to throw it and found his hands shaking as he took the odd shaped key to work on the goddamn metal cage.

Dean wasn’t even aware that Benny had left. He carefully adjusted Sam better against him so that his brother was still being supported and off the cold flood but he could reach the cockcage because he wanted it off before he removed the hood.

Shoving the anger at himself away for the moment, Dean cringed at a jerk under his hand and hoped if Sam was unconscious that he stayed that way for a little while longer since the last thing he needed or wanted was for his brother to watch this.

He had just gotten the first damn tiny lock off to remove the main piece of the cage, which he did hurl with a snarl, when he caught the weak hand in his when it went to push him away. “Sam, stop. It’s okay and you’re safe now.”

Dean realized it was going to be hard to convince Sam of that since he couldn’t see his eyes yet and if he had, hopefully, missed Crowley’s visit then he also wouldn’t know that the demon was gone. “Sammy, it’s me. I’m just getting this thing off before I take the hood off so…”

Again Sam’s hand shot up but even as Dean was grabbing it, his other hand was weakly trying to grab at his face and Dean got what his brother wanted.

“You want the hood off now?” Dean didn’t like how weak Sam seemed but hoped it was just shock and not internal bleeding.

Sam’s fingers weren’t moving like he wanted and that was upsetting him almost as much as not knowing where he was since he could feel he was no longer hanging and the bars and cuffs were also gone but he wasn’t sure why.

He’d drifted in and out after realizing what the demon was after and enduring the final onslaught before he seemed to start slipping in and out, hearing other voices and things that he hadn’t understood fully until he came back around to the feeling of a familiar heartbeat next to his ear and shaking fingers touching him, panicking a little more because he could handle the demon being cruel but not the gentle too familiar touches Dean used to use.

His hearing was still muffled from the hood and he could hear his own pounding heart in his head because it was harder to breathe now but found hands keeping his from touching the hood he wanted off so badly and then his whole body stilled at the feel of a firm hand on the center of his cut and bleeding chest.

“I need you to listen to me first,” Dean was working hard at not shaking or letting his voice shake and show his brother how badly this whole event was bothering him but it was hard when Sam seemed to suddenly want to curl in his lap like he had as a kid when scared or hurt. “I’m going to take this off and get those damn gags out but you’ve been in the dark for more than a day so you might not see well at first and…Benny’s here and we sorta owe him our asses so don’t freak out and…” he paused to lower his voice. “I am so damn sorry I let this happen, Sammy.”

Sam heard the first real change in Dean’s voice since he’d been back from Purgatory and prayed to himself that he wasn’t dreaming or in that much pain when he felt the collar being removed and fingers slip under the edge of the hood to slowly begin to peel it up; hearing his brother…he hoped so at least, curse at something or someone.

Cool air hit his face as the seal around his neck and the hood was broke and Sam whimpered through the gags, feeling the thing in his mouth deflating with another vicious curse from Dean until a deeper voice urged him to calm down and Sam tensed a little but then Dean was back to talking to him but something told Sam that his brother was nowhere near as calm as he was trying to sound.

“I get this thing off of him, you take it and every other piece of crap in that bag and on this floor outside and burn it,” Dean growled, fighting the urge to yank it off but knowing that with latex he had to go slow especially if Sam had been sweating or…the tear tracks on his brother’s bruised cheeks nearly froze him but it was when he had it finally up far enough to reveal the gags that he felt his stomach pitch again.

Benny had grabbed a blanket and some water before coming back down in time to hear Dean cursing demons and bastards all in one breath but still stayed back even though he was close enough to see what his friend was doing and blew out a low breath when he caught sight of the spider gag that Sam had been trapped in for well over a day.

“Shh, shh, I’m getting it off,” Dean promised, having to be careful around the prongs of the damn gag that had cut into Sam’s pale face until he’d bleed. “Keep your eyes closed for a second though,” he threw the hood over his shoulder in the general direction of the vampire while using the sleeve of his button down shirt to gently wipe over the tightly closed and crusted eyelids and lashes. “Okay, open ‘em slowly and it may hurt.”

Wincing at the gentle touch to his face, Sam was a little afraid to open his eyes out of fear of this being a trick or worse but as the thumb once again went over his eyes to wipe away the dried moisture and crap he slowly opened them and the first thing that met his blurry gaze was the little bronze amulet laying against Dean’s chest as it had for so many years.

Relieved that Sam’s attention was, for the moment, locked on the amulet, Dean’s fingers moved back to find the clasp for the gag before carefully easing it out of Sam’s mouth. “Easy, let me,” he felt Sam jerk again at his touch and tried not to let that bother him since there was no way in hell that he could blame his brother for being scared of him. “I need to touch your face, Sam. I’m not going to hurt you…anymore.”

“Dean,” Benny spoke low but warningly, he knew his friend had guilt but this wasn’t the time to let it start coming out.

“Close your mouth,” Dean had gently rubbed along Sam’s jaw and the hinges of it for several seconds to try to relieve the strain it had been under for being forced open for so long and still noticed the wince of pain as his brother’s lips closed. “Good, now you’re gonna shoot me bitchface #8 when I say to open it again so you can sip some water.”

Sam was too weak to shoot his brother any kind of look but he also didn’t want to drink or move his mouth since his whole damn face was sore and he just wanted to sleep and try to forget this nightmare but if Dean, any version of him, was one thing it was stubborn and finally Sam opened his lips enough to take two sips of water that he hoped didn’t come right back up.

“You gonna try to get upstairs to a bed before he crashes again?” Benny’s voice caused Sam to tense but he thought he recalled Dean saying something about them owing the vampire and also had a fainter memory of hearing Benny speak directly to him but couldn’t be sure he hadn’t dreamed that.

“Yeah, in a minute,” Dean knew his brother needed out of this basement and into a bed but a piece of him, the piece that realized how long it had been since he’d held Sam like this or touched him wasn’t sure he was ready to lose that.

Dean wasn’t stupid. He knew once Sam was awake fully and clearheaded that he’d take off back to Texas or someplace again and he wouldn’t blame him since he wasn’t sure he could live with himself either after what he’d allowed to happen.

He just hoped his brother gave him the chance to explain, to apologize for not only this but for everything else and then he had a score to settle with someone he should’ve dealt with a long time ago.

“Sam, I’m going to get the rest of this crap off of you and then…huh?” looking down when fingers weakly found and clung onto the amulet, Dean realized Sam was watching him with glassy eyes that were five times the size they should’ve been even with shock running high. “What is it?”

Too weak, too tired and suddenly too cold to try to get his mouth to work even if he trusted his voice after so long without it, he held onto that little amulet like he used to while trying to judge for himself what to trust when he slowly watched realization come into Dean’s green, pure green, eyes.

“You want to know for sure that I’m me and not the demon trying to trick you?” Dean asked, guessing that was the issue and again was so amazed and proud of his brother for still being this together…though he prayed that stayed the same once the shock wore off and it all hit home.

Helping Sam ease up without causing him pain was hard and it reminded Dean that while the cage was off the cock and ball rings and the sound were still in place but first he wanted to reassure his little brother of this much at least.

Moving his hand slowly to not scare Sam as he carded fingers that shook just so slightly back through sweat soaked long hair, he met his brother’s shock filled eyes fully. “ _Christo_.”  

The word was said by Dean himself and the barely with it right now hunter in him knew if his brother was still possessed that he couldn’t even had started to say that word much less finish it without jerking or eyes flashing black but Dean’s stayed calm and perfectly green and…

Suddenly Sam’s arms were around his brother waist as he tried to move tighter against Dean, feeling Dean jerk in surprise but then felt arms that seemed to shake as bad as Sam figured he was by this stage go around him to hold him.

“Sam…” every piece of Dean wanted to break right there but the semi-conscious, in shock little brother that was still bleeding and shaking in his arms prevented that and he knew it was time to move; that he could handle the rest upstairs. “I’m going to move you now and when you wake up…well, it’ll be…we’ll talk.”

Fighting to keep his eyes open as shock, cold and injuries began to hit him, Sam’s eyes flickered a few times before settling on Dean’s worried face and while he knew this was his brother a sudden spike of fear hit Sam because he wasn’t sure what all Dean knew or would think of this…of him and began to wildly wonder if he’d still end up alone or worse after waking up.

Sam looked like he wanted to try to speak but a burst of pain made him cry out and his eyes rolled back when he passed out and missed the exact same look of fear that he had pass over Dean’s face.

“I’m sorry, Sammy.”

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

** Present: **

_“I raped him!”_

The rage and guilt that had been building since he regained control of his body finally exploded as he heard the words come out of his mouth and only when his fist came too close to actually going through the passenger side window did Dean Winchester realize his knuckles were bleeding from where he’d just taken out days of anguish, pain, and now guilt on his car.

Not that he could take it out on who he wanted to because the demon was long gone and the hunter had yet to figure out how to beat the hell out of himself and it would still be some time before Sam would find the strength to do it…if his brother would even look or talk to him.

The vivid and violent memories of what the demon did to Sam since first attacking the younger man in a Shelby, Montana motel room plagued his mind and the tattered soul that remained after the events of Hell and Purgatory.

Dean hoped that since Sam had been knocked and drugged unconscious for the car ride back to the cabin that he wouldn’t ever remember the things the demon had done in the car and that eventually Dean would forget but was also detailing the Impala before he let Sam anywhere close to it, assuming his little brother would still trust him to ride in the car again.

“You didn’t in all the ways that count,” Benny spoke from beside him, laying a hand on the hunter’s shoulder and felt the tension radiating through him. “He knows you were possessed. Sam knows you wouldn’t hurt him like that.”

“Does he?” Dean shot back, looking over his shoulder at the vampire before stepping away; needing the space after being trapped inside his own mind. “We’ve been fighting since I got back, Benny. I’ve pretty much told Sam I don’t trust him and that he’s not good enough anymore and he followed me to say he understood.

“My brother thinks everything I’ve said is true. That I don’t trust him to have my back and that I’d rather have you with me than the kid I’ve looked after and loved since before he was even born,” he could still hear the tears and heartbreaking pain in Sam’s voice in that damn motel room as he spoken and Dean, even as bad off as he’d been, had heard what hadn’t been said and that’s also what scared him now.

“He let me think he didn’t look for me, let me dump all this crap on him and didn’t bother to tell me he’d been jumped by some asshole with a chip on his shoulder. Sam was too scared of me to think I’d care that he’d been…” Dean’s fist curled as he also thought of what the demon had said about Walt’s attack on his brother and the aftermath of it. “The damn kid thinks I don’t want him with me and that I… _sonuvabitch_!”

This time the first would’ve broken the window if a strong grasp didn’t grab it, shoving the hunter against the trunk. “I heard what Sam said to you there and yeah, you did one helluva number on that kid but it ain’t nothin’ you can’t fix now, brother,” Benny told him firmly, knowing it hadn’t been easy on Dean to adjust to being out of Purgatory or to open himself back up to the emotions he’d locked away just to survive. “Yeah, you’re a bastard at times and have been since the first moment we met but you just need to talk to Sam, tell him some of it and let it out again.

“He knows you so I reckon he knows a lot of what you said was just you being an ass and the rest can be fixed with time and patience cause I think we both know what he meant when he said he’d walk away and make sure no one called you if or when anything happen,” the vampire watched his friend carefully, running his hand over his slight beard before choosing to add something else. “You didn’t bother to include in all those tales about you and Sam just what else he was to you.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed and went cold. “Because that’s between Sam and me, no one else,” he replied tightly, warning plain in both the drop in his voice and the tightening around his eyes. “I stopped denying it but I also don’t bring it up, not because I’m ashamed of loving him more than I probably should but it’s too easy for people to hurt Sam over it…but I managed to do that all on my own by trying to keep him safe.”

“You’ve been back with Sam a couple months now and…you haven’t…” Benny considered it a minute. “Now, don’t take offense to what I’m about to say but…you were in Purgatory for a goddamn year and you’re tellin’ me that you didn’t take advantage of the first warm body you met to get rid of some of that stress?” he glanced to the cabin before looking back at his friend. “Have you looked at your little brother, Dean? Probably any number of people, men or women, would take the chances you’ve been pitchin’ away…hey…”

“You want to me to kill you anyway?” Dean growled, no humor showing. “Sam and me, that side of things, it more than just sex, Benny and…that’s the biggest reason I’ve kept away from him like that because it would’ve been too easy to use the pain and emotions I’ve been running on from there and let it come out during sex,” he sighed, scrubbing both hands through his hair. “I’m not saying it’s always been easy and careful since it hasn’t been but there’s a damn big difference between rough sex with a few kinks tossed in and what the hell I might’ve done to him right after I got back.”

Walking away from the car, Dean stared at the cabin where he knew he needed to be and where he wanted to be but yet still couldn’t bring himself to take the final steps. “I’ve been too raw and angry, Benny. I don’t want him knowing about the crap we saw down there, the crap I did or the stuff that happened but the only way to keep Sam from asking questions is to shut him out…and I did, only too well. Now I don’t know if he’ll let me back in.”

“He needs you and I don’t just mean from this mess but for everything else,” Benny moved his head as if hearing something, reaching down to pick up the bag he’d been carrying. “I’ve got some trash to burn and you’re got some choices to make, brother,” he nodded to the cabin. “You can keep pushing him away and risk what happens or you can swallow that damn Winchester pride that’s gonna get you killed one day, deal with the fallout and open up to him in the way you told me you were going to.”

Dean kicked at the dirt again as the vampire walked away down the path that led to a clearing where burning the crap the demon had brought along to use on or had used on Sam wouldn’t risk anything. He wanted to make sure it all was destroyed but as his hand touched the door Dean knew where it was more important for him to be.

The cabin was nearly silent and Dean knew nearly was only because Sam was starting to wake up and his brother never woke up quiet or well after being hurt this bad, especially if he woke up scared or confused which he would this time.

Leaning in the door to the warmest bedroom in the cabin, Dean stood still to watch his brother as he began to toss a bit more restlessly on the bed and years of taking care of Sam told him that Sam would be waking up hard and fast this time. It also reminded him that there were two ways he could handle this.

The first was let Sam wake up on his own and then try to calm him down until his brother understood he was safe and let the chips between them fall and Dean had certainly handled similar situations that way in the past even if it wasn’t his favorite method.

The other way was to suck up his guilt and baggage, toss the locked up and rarely used no chick flick moments rule out the window again and do what he’d done for Sam since he was a child with nightmares.

Walking closer to the bed, Dean grabbed a trashcan, a basin with cold water and a rag, a bottle of water and Sam’s favorite color of Gatorade before sitting on the edge of the bed to just look as Sam’s face showed his growing anxiety.

Even in sleep, Sam was prone to showing his emotions and long ago learned little brother signs of the way his forehead would scrunch up, the constant movement under his lashes, the soundless words being mouthed that this was going to be a bad time for them both.

Normally when sick or hurt, Sam would lay on his stomach but since neither his stomach or his back were viable ways to lay right then Dean had managed to use nearly every pillow in the cabin to use as support to keep Sam as much on his side as possible.

Uncapping the bottle of water, Dean willed his hands not to shake as he reached out carefully to card his fingers back through Sam’s still damp hair while looking at the array of wounds his brother had that he’d spent the biggest part of two hours cleaning and caring for.

Once he and Benny had gotten Sam upstairs from the basement, Dean had refused the vampire’s help to care for wounds he very clearly recalled causing and instead had given Benny strict orders on how to ward the damn cabin against anything until Dean could do it himself.

For Dean, the cleaning and stitching of cuts or bruises wasn’t as bad as removing the rest of the damn restraints because for as long as he lived the hunter knew he’d never forget the sounds Sam had made in his sleep as the rings over his cock and his balls were removed and then taking the sound out had nearly did Dean in because every inch of removing it had made Sam whimper and try to curl into himself.

It had taken Dean a long time before he could bring himself to clean the blood away from where the demon’s violent entry into Sam and about that before he could work up the nerve to check for tearing inside the body hole before applying a salve to help soothe the pain before he’d dressed Sam in the loosest and oldest pair of battered sweat pants still in his brother’s duffel.

Sam’s chest was bare so nothing pulled on the stitches or bandages and Dean hoped the sweats were loose enough not to hurt or rub on places that were still going to be sensitive but he didn’t want Sam waking up still fully naked.

Watching closely as his brother’s breath started to become heavier but still only the softest sounds were escaping dry, cracked lips, Dean took his first good look at Sam that would allow him to see the little things that he hadn’t seen or hadn’t wanted to see since his return.

Dean knew every part of Sam’s body like he knew his own and knew where every mark or scar was. Now as he gazed at him without all the emotion and reactions from Purgatory, all the anger and misunderstanding clouding his judgment he began to see the new scars or marks he knew his little brother hadn’t had the last time.

A series of small scars were littered across the small of Sam’s back that as Dean looked closer made his blood begin to boil when he realized it wasn’t just scars but a word scrawled into his brother’s flesh that had begun to heal over and scar.

“Walt is a dead man,” Dean muttered to himself, vowing the hunter that had shot both him and Sam years earlier during the whole Apocalypse mess would soon be dying for what he had clearly done to his little brother.

More intense and longer marks were more faded but still visible on Sam’s upper back and chest since he was pale right then and now the burn mark on Sam’s right ass cheek made more sense even if it did also make Dean furious if he thought about its cause for too long.

Keeping his touch light and easy while carding his fingers back through Sam’s hair in a soothing motion, Dean also thought back to how his brother had been acting since his return and wanted to slap himself because all the warning signs had been there if he’d just been paying attention and if he’d just allowed Sam to get close.

Sam had tells that very few people except Dean knew that was like a window to his brother. Years of injuries, pain, abuse and fear always made Sam react in certain ways to certain injuries or threats and the damn muffled nightmares, Sam’s inability to sleep through the night unless they were driving or Dean was close, the times he’d be jumpy at the slightly noise or his disinterest in eating after a fight or waking up were all tells that the older Winchester knew he should’ve picked up on and hadn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Sam?” he asked the room while keeping his touch light as it soothed in a way that Dean knew he hadn’t since the last time he and Sam had been together.

It wasn’t easy to explain to Benny or to himself much less to Sam the reasons Dean had kept his little brother at a distance or why he hadn’t allowed things to go back to the way they’d been before.

The hurt that Sam hadn’t looked for him, that he possibly hadn’t cared enough to look had been one reason because as anyone knew when Dean was hurt he would hurt back and he had but it wasn’t the only reason and that one would take some doing to explain.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” he began quietly, knowing his brother couldn’t hear him which would mean he’d have to do this again once he was but decided he could use the practice since his huge Sammy inspired chick flick moments experience was rusty to say the least. “This shouldn’t have happened to you, none of it.

“You shouldn’t have been hurt by Walt, who I will kill this time, you shouldn’t have been made to feel guilty by me over something I didn’t understand or know…though you should’ve told me the truth too, and you damn well never should’ve been touched by some demon when I was careless enough to let myself get nailed,” Dean took the wet cloth to wipe it down over Sam’s face to both cool the slight fever that had come on and to clean away the fresh tears that had come during his brother’s restless sleep.

Sam would be thirty this year and as Dean sat beside him now, wiping his face and talking to him in a tone that he wasn’t aware that he could still use it was like so many other times growing up when Sam would be hurt or upset and he’d turn to his big brother for support or…

Memories flashed of the first time Dean had let the walls down to admit his feelings for Sam had long since crossed the legal or morally ethically line and had given in to the feelings he’d had since Sam was sixteen.

He’d never wanted to give in to those feelings, he’d never wanted Sam to know about them and had fought hard to keep them locked down…until three weeks after the fire at Stanford happened, after Sam’s life had collapsed and his grieving, scared and fighting for something only Sam knew what brother had gotten drunk out of his mind and brought back to Dean with a split lip, a swollen eye and an admission that rocked his older brother’s world.

Dean once again was feeling a very similar feeling. Whenever Sam was sick or hurt seriously it never failed to amaze Dean had young and innocent his brother could still look after so many years of hardships, pain, loss and need to just belong and be wanted.

A movement made Dean look down to notice that Sam’s fingers were twisting the sheet in his sleep while his other seemed to be reaching out for something. Taking a chance he moved his just slightly, feeling a tightening in his chest when it was grabbed and held with as much strength as Sam had at the moment.

“Sam…can you hear me?” he asked, being careful to keep his voice as level and quiet as possible since he knew the wrong tone now would force Sam deeper into himself. “I know you’re still going to be freaked out and upset when you do wake up and I’m hoping you can hear me a little bit so you’ll know that it’s me talking to you and not a trick that will hurt you more.”

The only sign of movement was Sam’s fingers which were never still when he was sick and barely conscious or conscious and too scared to open his eyes but Dean didn’t comment on that and just allowed his brother to hold onto his hand like he always would while continuing to stroke his fingers lightly to give Sam the chance to get used to his touch again and to know that he wasn’t going to hurt him.

“I’m not sure where to start here, Sam. Nothing I say will take back the last few days for you or take away the pain or fear he…I…you were out through on top of everything else I’ve already put you through since coming back,” Dean took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I guess the first thing I need to clear up was back at the motel when I said I didn’t want you there, it wasn’t for the reason you thought.

“I’d been fighting the demon, trying to get back some control or something even though I had no plan on what to do then when I heard you. The thing had already been bragging up a storm to what he was going to do to you when he got a chance,” he smoothed a thumb over the pulse point in Sam’s wrist, feeling it beating a little fast but expected that. “I didn’t want you there not because of what’s been going on with us or that I don’t want you with me but because I didn’t want you to be hurt but…I couldn’t prevent that no matter how much I tried and I did try, Sammy.”

The moving fingers stilled just for a moment at the use of his nickname before slowly starting again but it was enough to allow Dean to see what was happening and he wasn’t sure to feel relieved or worried. “You’re awake, aren’t you Sammy?” he asked softly, not expecting a response and so went on speaking. “You’re not used to me calling you that because I haven’t since getting back but the demon did because it knew using my nickname for you would hurt us both because I used to be the only one you’d let call you that. Can I still call you that?”

Sam’s eyes remained closed but he didn’t move his hand away or tense at the feel of Dean’s hand when it curved over his jaw to touch a bruise there from the initial beating at the motel.

“I can make excuses for not knowing the damn tattoo was broken but this is me and I don’t run on excuses so I’ll take the blame because it was my fault and if you choose to walk away from me after this then I’ll let you go but…I need you to understand a few things before you make that choice,” Dean began to move his hand away only to feel the fingers on his wrist hold tighter as if Sam didn’t want him to and after a moment of self-doubt he left it where it was while trying to find a way to do this.

“You said back there that you understood what I felt and what I wanted or in this case didn’t want…but you don’t understand, Sam and that’s what I need to talk to you about. I don’t want Benny riding next to me, I don’t want Benny hunting with me or covering my back or doing anything for me. I want the same man doing those things that I always have and that, little brother, is you,” he kept his hand on Sam’s face now just to allow some contact. “I didn’t mean the things I’ve said to you, Sam. I know I said Benny was a better brother and had never let me down but neither have you…not in the ways that count, not in the ways that I’ve let you down.”

Dean knew what he said in the coming moments would make or break them because if you couldn’t get Sam to understand or accept what he said his brother would never feel safe with him again or believe that he wasn’t just saying things out of duty or obligation.

“First, I said a lot of that crap because I was hurt. When I thought you’d quit hunting to live the normal life, that you hadn’t looked for me at all, it hurt like Hell and you know how I get, Sam,” Dean felt a subtle shiver run through Sam but for all intents and purposes Sam still looked like he was asleep.

“It wasn’t just that though that I was hurting from and I think you knew that already. What I did in Purgatory, what I’d seen, done or let happen just to survive to get out, to get back to you, was in some ways a lot worse than what Hell did to me and I didn’t want that touching you,” Dean’s fingers shook this time as they brushed the fresh tears away. “I didn’t want anything from Purgatory touching you and…that’s one of the reasons I didn’t touch you or haven’t touched you since coming back.”

Sam’s fingers stilled this time only now his breathing had changed, becoming more ragged as if listening with fear of what would be coming but his eyes stayed closed, though his shoulders seemed to shift a bit which brought him closer to where Dean was sitting with only a small amount of pain.

“A year in Purgatory was in a lot of ways a lot worse than forty in Hell because it was a constant cycle of just trying to stay sane while fighting to survive. Hell took a lot from me, Sam…but what I did in Purgatory took a lot more and when I got out it was like I was in a constant state of fight or flee,” Dean wasn’t sure how to explain this to his brother and so just chose his best example; crossing his fingers that it didn’t make it worse. “Can you remember how on edge and wild you were at sixteen after Dad’s friend hurt you?”

Dean knew Sam did because that was one of just a list of things that he never allowed to be brought up usually around his younger brother but this time he had to risk it to try to get Sam to understand things. “Do you remember how you were almost constantly moving, even in your sleep, how you couldn’t stand to be in the car or in the house if we were at Bobby’s or Jim’s and how you just wanted to either fight or curl up? That’s how I was the biggest part of the time after getting out.”

A mild comparison since Dean remembered his brother’s healing had been a bit more drastic since it had nearly been three months before Sam could stand to have anyone close to him or come around him unless it was Dean and that was only if he knew his brother was close by. If Dean took him by surprise that year, he usually ended up bleeding.

“Getting out of there meant bringing a piece of Purgatory with me because I left a lot of the man I’d been down there among all the blood, the crap, and the monsters that I killed but in getting out I was raw on the outside as well as the inside, Sammy. If I would’ve touched you the way I wanted to the moment you walked in the front door that day I would’ve hurt you and I told you the first damn night we made love…you’re sleeping so you’re not going to remember what I just said there, I promised that I’d never hurt you and I was too damn on edge then.

“A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t wanted to reach out to touch you in some even if it was just a hand on your shoulder or to not so subtly remind you that this mop of hair is getting too long or when you’d wake up at night to hide in the bathroom or just lay in your bed pretending that you weren’t fighting the tears from whatever had woken you up there were so many times that I wanted to say or do something but every time I nearly did I’d flash on Purgatory.

“I didn’t want to risk having you close to me or in my arms if I flashed too much because I might’ve made you think I hated you or that I was disappointed in you but I’d never see another mark or bruise on you that I’d caused in anger,” Dean sighed as he recalled his return from Hell. “I’ve already left you with too many of those.”

The minor abrasions or bruises left after a night of sex bothered Dean a lot even though it had taken Sam four months of whining, begging and conniving to get him to even use the cuffs the first time so the first time after Hell he’d had a flashback during sex and Sam had been bruised and bloody Dean had sworn never again.

“You think I don’t want you anymore? That I don’t want you as my brother, my partner, my lover?” this time when Dean moved his hand it was only to turn it so he could grasp Sam’s fully before sliding his other down to hold the side the his brother’s face, feeling the tiny muscle movement under his fingers.

When Dean spoke next it was in the tone reserved only for his brother and only when emotions were deep. “Baby boy, I promised you that it was you and me against the world and no matter what happens or how big of an ass I can be most times you will always be my little brother, my partner, my best friend and my lover…if you still want those things after what I did and that’ll be your choice, Sammy,” he gently squeezed the trembling hand under his and slowly eased away.

“I screwed it up, Sam and I’m sorry for letting you think I hated you and I know that you know the demon told me what Walt did while I was locked in Hell’s backyard and no matter what you decide to do once you’re awake and over this a little…I will make damn certain that he does not ever put his hands on you ever again,” Dean assured him, allowing himself the time to let his fingers go back through soft dark hair before smiling sadly.

“I can tell you that none of this was your fault. You had no idea anything was wrong with me when you followed me to the motel and I’d kept you at such a distance that you never had a chance to see the tattoo so all of this, the last four days is all on me so now it’s my turn to say I get it if you decide you need space from me and…I’ll let you go,” he swallowed the sudden lump that hit in his throat at the thought of watching his brother walk away but on this instance the hunter knew he had no choice. “Hell, you can even drive me to the bus station since if you walk this time you’re taking the Impala.”

Now Sam did tense and Dean took that as his cue not to push further for the moment, standing slowly to get his balance since he’d lost track of the last time he’d slept and debated on what he wanted to do before deciding he’d already tossed caution into the fire.

“I’m gonna go see if we still have any soup so you can try to eat before I look at those stitches and send Benny on his way,” he put a hand on the headboard to steady himself as he bent closer to brush the strands of hair away from Sam’s face and gave a light kiss to the forehead while whispering something low enough that Sam could still hear it.

Sam had been awake through all of that but had stayed still so try to gauge things a bit more while also trying to level out the pain he could feel all over his body, listening to not only the words his brother was trying to say but also the tone he was using.

Ever since Dean returned from Purgatory his tone was hard, rough and angry. As Sam woke up more than once to his brother speaking he still heard the roughness but it wasn’t like before and he knew the rough and raw tone was more from using his voice too much and having a demon come out of it than anger or hate.

He’d wanted to open his eyes to see Dean, to see his face since it had always been easier at times for Sam to decide what side of his brother he was dealing with if he could see his face and eyes but he hadn’t been up to possibly seeing shame or disappointment in those familiar green eyes and he knew if Dean had even a small clue about Walt then that’s what he’d see.

Sam had followed Dean to settle their differences and to see where they sat with one another and he feared up until Dean began speaking this time that he still knew where that was…now he wasn’t so sure.

He knew the demon was gone and it had been the damn demon that had hurt him, not Dean but Sam knew his brother wouldn’t accept that anytime soon and would have to work at convincing his brother that he didn’t blame him since Sam knew he’d walked right into it with eyes wide open.

The use of his nickname had stilled him since in the past few months since Dean’s return he hadn’t called him Sammy and…he could recall hearing the demon’s voice cut off when it tried to use the other nickname that Dean only used between them and when they were alone but yet his brother used it just now and it had taken all his strength not to curl more against him like he would before.

The careful and gentle touches were another sign that something had changed since Dean hadn’t touched him in anyway, brotherly, sexually, or any other way, since returning unless it was to stitch a wound, throw a punch or point a gun in a few occasions.

Even unconscious or barely conscious, Sam was aware of his surroundings and could feel Dean’s hands on him as he cleaned the wounds, stitched what needed stitches and dressed the rest and Sam had felt wary but not scared like he had been earlier or had been even last week because his brother’s moods also dictated his touch and Sam never missed the shaking of Dean’s normally steady fingers, realizing he was upset.

Dean blamed himself, this Sam knew and kind of expected it and he knew Dean would try to deal with Walt which was something he didn’t want but it was when he spoke of Purgatory, of why he’d been distant and that he didn’t want Benny for the things Sam had assumed he did that it got harder to breathe as his hidden emotions wanted to pour out in addition to everything he’d locked down from the demon attack.

By the time his brother got to the part of letting him go if he chose not to be with Dean right now until he felt safe again and letting him take the Impala well Sam’s lip was sore from chewing it again and finally when his brother brushed his hair back before moving away and he felt his lips on his forehead it took all he had not to make a sound but he was afraid if he did then that Dean would take it as fear and not the relief that it was.

A lot of Sam’s last memories from downstairs were hazy but he thought he’d heard speak to him and that had given him hope enough to hang on and not give up. Dean’s whispered words however was what finally forced Sam to struggle to open his eyes just as his brother’s hand was reaching for the door to the bedroom.

“… …De’n.”

Days of screaming around that damn one gag with his mouth trapped open under the hood had dried Sam’s mouth and throat out so that even the shortened form of his brother’s name took effort to get it out and he feared it wasn’t loud enough to hear but saw the moment Dean froze, his fingers on the knob.

“Yeah?” Dean’s heart was beating in his throat at the sound of his little brother’s voice, turning to watch as Sam tried to move only to stop as pain hit him. “You…umm, you need to stay on your side for a little longer,” he moved back to grab the bottle of water. “Don’t talk too much yet. You’re dehydrated so just sip this a little.”

Sam’s eyes still looked a little glassy but nothing like before as he glanced up finally to meet Dean’s gaze, the green bright and steady and neither of them would ever mention a little bit wet.

A straw was dropped into the bottle to allow his to drink from it how he was laying and while he hated being on his side the pain in his body, especially in ass and around his cock made Sam stay where he was rather than try to move.

He was grateful that while Dean allowed him to hold the water bottle himself his brother’s hand folded over his shaky grip to prevent the bottle from slipping as he took a few sips before letting go, still thirsty but didn’t want his brother to have to clean both him and bed again if he threw it back up by drinking too much too fast.

“You back with me now, Sammy?” Dean’s nerves were tense since he wasn’t sure how Sam would react or what to say now that huge puppy dog eyes were watching his every move until he finally sat back on the edge of the bed while still trying to give Sam space in case this was too close.

Sam swallowed a few times before his throat didn’t feel like asphalt and his tongue wasn’t sticking to the roof of his mouth. “You…Benny’s…still here?” he wasn’t sure why he wanted to know that but accepted that he wouldn’t feel right until it was just them again. “You said we…owe…God, this hurts.”

The pain in his groin caused Sam to try to bring his knees up only to feel an ice bag being placed gently and his hand on top to hold it as Dean put a straw in the Gatorade bottle for later. “Benny’s burning…stuff so I can be in here with you and then he’ll heading over the border for a while,” he replied to his brother’s question, his hand beginning to rub over Sam’s shoulder until he felt his brother relax again as the pain eased off. “If he hadn’t nearly had his head sliced off by a demon asshole he already would be gone.”

“Huh?” Sam blinked, reaching up blindly to find the amulet where it hung around Dean’s neck again and felt instant relief at its touch. “Over the border? Benny’s going to…to…am I concussed?”

“A little,” Dean nodded, smiling a little as Sam’s forehead wrinkled since it was always cute to see his big brained little brother struggling for an answer but would keep a closer look on Sam in case his slight concussion turned into anything more. “Lump on the back of your head, the damn drugs still in your blood and you weren’t breathing fully through that goddamn…” biting back when he heard his tone dropping as he could still see the latex hood covering his brother’s face, the hunter forced himself to calm down before Sam edged away.

Instead of edging away, the younger Winchester struggled to move closer until Dean got the hint and shifted so his back was to the headboard and he was closer so Sam didn’t have to stretch so much to reach either his hand or the amulet he seemed content to hold.

“He came up this way to say goodbye, to thank me for helping him get outta Purgatory and to tell me I was being a jackass before he headed across then he got distracted,” Dean bit back a groan as his back and neck popped when he settled back, moving closer until he felt Sam’s other arm move to go over his stomach.

Dean stayed still and quiet as Sam slowly settled against him like he would since they were kids and sharing a bed. It seemed odd to be this close and still not touch but until Sam was fully recovered and they were alone he wasn’t going to push that…he just had to make certain his little brother saw it that way and wasn’t thinking anything else.

“I thought…Benny…he…” Sam hesitated as he tried to think of what he wanted to say and also decide if what he’d heard was right or just wishful thinking. “Earlier, while you were still…when it told Benny that he could…” he paused, refusing to shake over that now but felt his brother’s hand curve around the back of his neck like it used to when Dean was offering support. “I thought I heard Benny say something to me.”

“Oh?” Dean had been too busy being furious to have noticed anything else and he hadn’t thought to mention that to the vampire outside. “You know Benny knew better than to touch you, right?”

“That’s what he said,” Sam yawned, still tired and in shock but not wanting to drift off yet. “He said he wasn’t going to hurt me and that he’d help you because he owed you but that you…” he seemed to hesitant a little, not sure how far to go with this when the grip on his neck moved so that his brother could lift his chin up.

“I what, Sammy?” Dean asked, seeing and recognizing Sam’s fear and worry. “Sam, what did Benny say?”

“That you’d already made your choice,” Sam blinked to clear his eyes of exhaustion, haze and tears. “Did you mean what you said, Dean?”

Trying to decide what of the many things he’d been saying the last twelve hours his confused and tired brother meant, Dean brushed the tears away with the back of the knuckles of one hand when the sudden drop of Sam’s eyes clued him in. “Always mine if you want it, baby boy,” he repeated what he’d whispered last and knew he’d hit it when those big eyes darted back to his.

“You stopped it from calling me that, didn’t you?” Sam asked, feeling the same emotion he always did any time his brother used that name.

When he’d been small, Sam had detested it when his Dad called him that but yet didn’t seem to mind it when Dean would use it; even after they began hunting again when Sam had been twenty-two and his brother called him that, it gave him a warm feeling of being home and safe.

The thought of the demon inside his brother using it nearly made Sam sick but he’d heard it cut off and hoped in some way Dean had done that.

“I couldn’t stop him from calling you ‘Sammy’ but there was no way in Hell was that sick freak demon bastard was calling you that,” Dean’s reply was low and firm, unaware of how his thumb was brushing over Sam’s cheek as he locked eyes with him. “He and I’d be dead before that name ever came out of him. Hell, I’m hoping eventually you’ll let me call you Sammy again and not think of that thing.”

“You’ve been calling me Sammy,” his brother reminded him, needing to blink more to bring Dean into focus. “I know the difference between you and the demon, Dean. You didn’t hurt me…it did so this isn’t your fault. Unless you want to take back everything you told me after Meg.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue that it was his fault and that it had been his body that had touched and hurt him when that last sentence shut him up with a scowl. “Meg and what she did while inside you was not your fault and so a different case,” he argued even though he knew it wasn’t really. “He took you dry, Sam. No lube, no stretching, no prep and tore you up a good bit and…”

“And Meg allowed bikers to gang rape me doing the same thing. I don’t think lube and prep are high on a demon’s list of things to do when torturing someone, Dean,” Sam yawned, missing the flash in his brother’s eyes at the mention of that incident since it was another thing on the ‘do not ever mention’ list. “It wanted to do worse and we both know it.

“You fought it and protected me as much as you could,” he slowly moved the hand that wasn’t clutching the amulet up to touch Dean’s face, feeling the slight scruff and wishing he had the energy to move more. “I don’t blame you and I…don’t wanna go away, Dean.”

This was murmured softly and off the top of his head as cracks began to come in the wall he’d built against the emotions. “Please, don’t make me go away. I know…I know it told you about Walt and what he did to me and why I stopped looking for you and I know you’re angry and ashamed of me for not being able to stop it or fight back this time and for being so jealous of Benny that I didn’t see the broken tattoo or for not telling you about Walt to begin with but please, please don’t make me leave cause I don’t have anywhere else to go and I wanna stay with you even if after all this you really don’t want me anymore or right now or just wanna be brothers and I get that and…”

Dean frowned as he listened to Sam’s words get faster and harder to understand as his breathing also became more labored and knew the signs of one hell of a massive panic attack about to start if he didn’t head it off but Sam, in this state of mind, wasn’t easy to calm down or shut up.

“Sammy,” he tried to say but Sam’s rush of words that no longer could be picked up or understood except for a few words here and there; mostly Dean’s name, sorry, don’t leave him and…

When one particular set of words hit him, Dean moved to adjust the pillows so that while he could nudge Sam more to his back but still keep his hips and butt from touching the bed and causing pain and then chose to stop this the only way he’d ever known would work on Sam the past eight years.

Keeping a hand on the center of Sam’s chest lightly, his other cupped his neck a second before Dean’s mouth gently, almost chastely, closed over his brother’s in a soft kiss that was meant more to slow the rush of running panicked words and calm Sam down some.

Starting at the feel of Dean’s warm lips touching his, Sam went still and quiet and his eyes looked up to see that his brother was watching him. “You…I…”

“Stop. Breathe. Calm down and listen,” Dean spoke softly, not backing away as he knew he should’ve but staying close enough that he could feel the short little breaths coming out of Sam and suddenly remembering that it had been over a year that he’d kissed or touched or tasted his brother.

Sam’s hand was still curled around the amulet while his other had pressed against Dean’s chest, over his heart and the tattoo that he knew would be fixed soon but he struggled to follow those orders until he felt himself calming down and felt more upset that he’d let the sudden panic attack loose. “I…”

This kiss was still soft but firmer as Dean’s mouth shifted a little until he heard a small sound from Sam but he made no attempt to take it further or ask for more than he knew his brother was ready to give after so long and so much.

“I don’t hate or blame you for Walt and what he did. That was another thing I should’ve handled long before now and I will end him for putting his hands on what is mine,” Dean carded his fingers back through his brother’s hair again to see that he had his attention and could feel Sam’s heartbeat calming back down. “I’m not ashamed of you for anything he did and I’m just glad you’re alive. Do I know everything? No, but I’ll let you tell me what you want at your own speed.

“Benny never was an issue because he’s not my brother, you are. I know you don’t like him and I know you hate when he calls me brother but that’s just him,” he went on slowly, staying close and keeping a hand on Sam in some way as he leaned closer to just give soft little kisses along Sam’s face, eyes and jaw because he knew his brother wouldn’t be too scared of that while it would assure him of Dean’s feelings.

“I told him that I couldn’t help him anymore and he gets it. So he’s heading to Canada to visit whatever one visits in Canada and we will get back to what we do best,” Dean smiled as he felt Sam shiver as he kissed down his neck until he hit a spot that never failed to make his little brother whimper.

“Hunting things, saving people…the…ummm,” Sam hadn’t felt this since the last time he and Dean had been together because with Amelia he’d still be too raw from Walt’s attack and had never really been comfortable with her to accept their time in bed as anything but a release.

Grinning a bit more easily when Sam didn’t jerk or tense at the kisses, Dean nodded. “The family business, little brother,” he finished, adding with a shrug. “Of course, we’ll have to figure out what the hell Cas is up to but until then it’s you and me and getting you on your feet but…” he stopped to ease back enough to see that Sam’s glassy eyes had cleared some but were larger from something than just shock this time.

“But you’re not going anywhere if you don’t want to. Sammy, I said I’d understand if you wanted space since I wasn’t sure if you could be with me alone and not be scared after everything that’s happened,” Dean explained slowly, seeing the slight nod of understanding and also seeing his bright eyed little brother was about to crash again. “You’re drifting, Sammy.”

“Stay with me?” Sam didn’t want to be alone right then; the feelings were still too close despite what he tried to say to the contrary. “Until I go to sleep, I mean,” he dropped his eyes to watch as Dean looked at him. “I mean, unless you have other stuff to do or…”

Long fingers touched his neck where the collar had dug in to leave a bruise. “I’m not leaving you, Sammy,” Dean promised him, slowly moving until he could lay down on the edge of the bed to allow his brother to curl up against his side. “You’re safe and I’m not saying you won’t have nightmares or we still won’t have issues but I will make this better for you.”

Sam wanted to ask if they were good or where they stood but was still leery and suddenly too tired so he groaned in pain but moved until he could rest his head over Dean’s heart, gathering the anti-possession medal into his hand as well. “De’n?”

“Didn’t we start this conversation off like that?” Dean smiled, slipping one arm over Sam to hold him and to assure his brother that he wasn’t alone.

“Will we…can we…do you still…” sleep, pain, shock all combined to make it hard for the younger man to speak but held his breath as his brother’s other hand moved to lay over the hand Sam had on his chest.

“Yes to all three, little brother,” Dean assured him, voice husky with a want that he hadn’t felt in more than a year and one that he wouldn’t give into now until he was sure Sam was healed emotionally and physically from everything that had been tormenting his brother.

It was the husky raw tone that Dean only got with strong emotion that made Sam open sleepy eyes to meet his brother’s smile with an almost shy uncertain one. “You still want…”

“I never stopped wanting you, Sam. I just couldn’t let myself touch you until I had better control over my own emotions,” Dean told him then quirked one lip up. “I’ve been in so many cold showers lately I thought I’d look like a prune because sleeping in the same room with you, or being in the Impala with you so close and I knew what you wanted, Sammy was killing me but…” he shook his head at the small bitchface that got him. “But, we’re not doing anything until I know you’re healed from this and you trust me again.”

“I do trust you, Dean,” Sam argued, sighing at the finger against his lips. “You didn’t…”

“I know you do and I know you say you’re okay but, Sammy…I know you and the trust I’m talking about it more than knowing you’re physically safe with me or that I won’t hurt you in bed since it’ll be an extra-long time before we do anything but straight sex,” Dean hoped he could keep that one since he didn’t want to bring the cuffs and toys they sometimes use into play until they were comfortable with one another again.

“I need you to know and trust that I also won’t hurt you emotionally and to get you over the rough patches that will come so…give it time,” hearing the low groan and agreeing with it, he smiled but gave Sam’s hair a kiss while his hand began to soothe over the arm laying on his chest.

Sam wasn’t happy with waiting since it felt like it had been forever since he and Dean had had sex but he got the concern Dean felt and understood it even if he didn’t like it.

The nightmares and scars from Walt’s attack were still with him and this would bring it back but if Sam knew anything it was that Dean would never let them go farther or faster than he thought Sam was ready for.

“Would you be alright long enough for me to go refill the icebag, resalt the doors and send Benny on his way so we’re alone?” Dean asked, not missing the way Sam tensed at the thought of being alone. “Ten minutes, Sammy and then I’ll be with you until you wake up and we can reclean these.”

“Just…yeah, just don’t be too long?” Sam hated to be this weak or hurt that he didn’t feel safe unless Dean was close but his brother just nodded, caught his mouth in another gentle kiss.

“Ten minutes,” Dean promised, easing off the bed but waited until he was sure Sam was alright and seemed to be drifting off again before stepping out of the room and the cabin. “You ready to go?”

Benny had been ready since he made sure every piece of that crap had burned but stuck around in case the Winchesters needed anything. “Yep, unless you think you can’t handle him alone,” he grinned at the look that comment earned him and extended a hand. “Take care of yourself and him, Dean. You got a brother to be proud of.”

“I know,” it was just a matter of learning how to say that more often to Sam that Dean knew he’d have to get used to, accepting the handshake and the hug that always went with it. “Watch yourself, Benny,” he urged, then sighed. “I know with him bleeding like he was it wasn’t easy to be around him without…”

“You’d already made your point on that well know, brother,” the vampire got in his truck to look back at Dean. “Take care and get that damn tattoo fixed cause I won’t be here to bail you out next time.”

Watching the truck leave, Dean’s fingers touched the broken lines of his tattoo. “There won’t be a next time,” he promised firmly, locking the cabin door and resalting it after checking the other salt lines before grabbing a new ice bag and something he’d pulled from the Impala’s trunk and going back into the bedroom.

Sam’s body was tense as he laid on his side with one fist curled up near his chest but the moment he felt the small for a double bed dip as Dean stretched back out he relaxed a little.

“Less than ten minutes,” Dean spoke quietly as he laid down, waiting for Sam to feel him and move like he knew his brother would until Sam’s head was over his heart and both the amulet and medal were clutched in a tight fist. “Just go to sleep now, Sammy. You’re safe and…it’s going to be good,” he hoped it would be as he laid the battered leather jacket that he hadn’t worn since losing Sam to a hole in the ground and two warring Archangels.

The jacket had been their Dad’s and then Dean’s and Sam had always grafted onto it when sick, hurt, scared or cold so as soon as he felt the familiar feel of leather and the smells of leather, gun oil and still of Dean surrounded him the rest of the tension left him and with a soft whisper fell into a relaxed sleep.

“Love you too, Sammy,” Dean murmured, not closing his eyes since he knew if he did he’d sleep and didn’t feel safe enough to sleep until he was certain his brother would be alright.

As his hand moved through Sam’s hair like it almost always did when getting his brother to sleep, Dean’s mind accepted that he and Sam still had issues to handle since his little brother might wear his emotions on his sleeve but he also buried the inner pain and darker emotions that he didn’t want to face too and Dean was only too well aware that when those emotions, the shame, guilt and pain of Walt, to this attack and everything else came out it wouldn’t be pretty but that Sam also couldn’t heal without it.

Though healing also meant feeling safe and Sam wouldn’t ever feel safe knowing the bastard hunter was still out there lurking and that was, as Dean’s eyes drifted closed on their own, was what he planned to fix first thing as soon as Sam could travel and he got the tattoo fixed.

Dealing with Walt was one thing. First he needed to find the asshole and since the man was still a hunter that would require help on another level.

Moving just enough to pull his phone out of his jeans without disturbing his brother, Dean blinked eyes that were blurring until he found the number he wanted. It rang three times before being picked up and just by the woman’s tone of voice the hunter knew this called did not come as a total surprise.

“Hello Sheriff…”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know. Healing in this one and hotness in the next with also a little cleanup duty Dean feels needs done. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Ran a little long but healing and angst and yes, a semi-cliffhanger can’t be done shortly…well it can but then the guys get shortchanged and no one likes that. LOL. Thanks for sticking with it and the final chapter will be up soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some minor violence in the first part and then the usual warning for Wincest fun in the last part.

**Chapter Five**

** Six Weeks Later: Sioux Falls, SD: **

“Stupid freak thinks coming here will give him an edge? The old drunk couldn’t protect him even if he was still alive.”

Walt had been a hunter for a long time. He and Roy didn’t hunt the dangerous things and usually ended up stumbling into things or just hunting what they wanted for the fun of it.

Roy had hung the gig up right after the deal with the Winchesters. The asshole hadn’t approved of Walt shooting Dean and walked away or would have if Walt hadn’t shot him in the back since he wasn’t going to risk his former friend ratting out his other activities to the hunting community.

It was easy to skate on going after Sam since the rumors had started about what the boy was and had he’d done but even then both Winchesters still had friends within the life that hadn’t approved and wouldn’t approve of what he did to the freak this time if they knew about it.

The hunter, or ex-hunter since he’d stopped hunting the weird about three years earlier to move onto bigger and better game, admitted he got too cocky after the week of abuse and pain he’d put Winchester through. He didn’t think the kid was still able to think past the pain and drugs much less be able to get out of the restraints he had on him to escape but he had.

When it got out that something had happened and Dean had disappeared and was probably dead, it didn’t take Walt long to come up with a plan to get revenge on the Winchesters and to have some fun since while Sam was a huge son of a bitch in size he still tended to be too soft hearted…especially if he was looking for his brother.

It took some doing to find a couple others who would help him jump the kid but once he had Sam knocked out cold, drugged with his newest drug of choice that would leave the hunter alert but unable to move or fight back the rest of the week had been easy.

Walt admitted he had some issues and paid his whores well to get them serviced but using Sam for some of them saved him money and it was damn fun the first time he took him and listened to the kid try to fight back or when he finally broke toward the end or so he thought he broken him in.

This time he’d make certain to cage the freak when he went out so he can’t escape because he didn’t know what Sam thought he was doing by texting him where he was but if he thought he was going to get the jump on him Walt had other plans.

Plans that included drugging his ass until the kid didn’t wake up for a week and by the time he did Walt would’ve have had plenty of time to make sure Sam would know his hunting days were over and he’d only serve one purpose.

“Hiding ain’t gonna help this, Winchester!” he called after walking through the rows of rusting cars as he tried to follow the directions in the last text but was quickly realizing he had no clue to where he was and once again hurled harsh curses at the late Bobby Singer. “You think you’re bad enough to take me on? Oh, you’re big enough but we both know you won’t cause I own your ass, freak! I own you and I’ll make you pay for running off and ruining all the fun I had planned.”

Walking around an old Buick, Walt sneered as he slipped a brass knuckle set over his hand while looking around for his prey. “Big brother ain’t around anymore and even if he was, I ain’t scared of Dean. I’d shoot the bastard in the kneecaps and make him watch as I fuck you or maybe see if a couple of those other rumors about the two of you are true or…”

A shot fired into the dirt right by his boot, making the hunter jump. “You bastard! If I didn’t have plans for you I’d kill you just for that!” Walt yelled, trying to see where the shot had come from. “You really think bringing me to here is going to help you, Sam? You think it gives you an edge? You think I’m scared of you?”

“No, but I know you damn well should be scared of me.”

Dean Winchester stepped out slowly from the row of cars to the left of Walt. His green eyes were shining with rage and hate.

He’d listened to the bragging and promises from the man who had nailed Sam and the more he listened the more his doubts about doing this faded away.

“Dean…” Walt stared, clearly taken aback but quickly regaining his sneer. “Thought you were dead somewhere or maybe you just let your little…” his broke off when the next shot whizzed close enough to his face to actually graze his cheek. “Hey!”

“You’ve done enough talking about my brother, asshole,” Dean growled, his Colt held casually but the danger in his eyes was plain. “In fact, if you want to live to see tomorrow Sam’s name had better not come out of your mouth again.”

Looking Walt over closely, Dean noticed the man hadn’t changed much since the night in the motel room when he shot and technically killed them both. He’d put on some muscle but mostly fat from becoming lazy or just taking on people smaller, weaker, or not at hundred percent…like his brother.

“You seriously stupid enough to think that text was from Sam, Walt?” he asked, noticing the small bag the hunter had dropped at the first shot.

“Figured the boy got tired of hiding under rocks, knew he couldn’t run and hide from his betters since he ain’t been a good hunter since he became what we hunt,” Walt shrugged, not worried about Dean or the weapon he held. “Sure, I could’ve killed the little freak but then I figured out he had a lot better use,” his smile went oily as he eyed Dean. “How long have you been using him for your own personal who…”

The distance between them closed in the time it took Walt to nearly get the last word out and then he was slammed back into the side of Ram truck with Dean’s fist beating his face several times before an arm pressed over his throat tightly.

“I swore to you once that I’d make you pay for shooting my brother. You skated because I got busy. You should’ve gotten smart and stayed the hell away from Sam, Walt,” Dean’s voice had dropped back to the one he hadn’t used since Purgatory, hate, rage and the burning need to punish ripping through him.

In the weeks since Sam began to heal from the demon attack, his brother was quiet and just watching Dean or quiet and nearly closing in on himself. The nights were the worst because Sam couldn’t sleep without screaming but it didn’t take Dean long to figure out that it wasn’t all memories of his possession and the trauma Sam had been put through causing them but most of Sam’s nightmares and issues seemed to come from the physiological wounds he still had from Walt.

Because Sam had been healing and coping with Dean’s possession, it did take about a week before Dean felt comfortable trying to soothe the nightmares and screams and it was only when he did and Sam finally accepted that his brother was going to be there with him and not shut him out any longer than more of the walls began to come down and the sordid, brutal tale came out in bits and pieces.

Years of knowing how best to allow Sam to talk about traumatic memories came into play because Dean had learned the bitter lesson of pushing too hard, too fast after the mess with the Benders and had since tried to allow Sam to open up at his own speed…unless it was something that was hurting him and then Dean pushed and just took the pain that would come.

He’d guessed the most of it since the scars told the story plain enough and he’d always known the asshole could be sadistic if he put what little brain he had to it but it wasn’t until the afternoon that Dean had been working on cleaning every inch of the Impala, inside and out, that he began to see just how much he’d underestimated Walt’s cruelty.

Sam had been quiet and moody that day and not as clingy as he had been all week, a sure sign that something was bothering him. Dean had left him inside the cabin on the laptop while he began to work on the inside of the Impala.

Dean hadn’t been expecting Sam to come outside, much less to sit on his side of the car to just watch Dean work and he hadn’t known what to expect when his brother softly began to speak of the night he followed a tip of a possible way to find his missing brother only to be jumped by Walt and three others.

As his little brother talked, Dean kept his attention on the car and not the urge to smash something because the moment Sam’s already soft voice dropped and he began to shake as he revealed more details about not only the physical abuse but the verbal, emotional and sexual abuse and pain as well, it became clear that Sam’s inner wounds were still raw.

Sam spoke and talked about what he could and then when he’d gotten it out he’d simply looked at Dean as if to gauge his reaction and went back into the cabin to wait the fallout.

Dean had already decided the hunter was going to pay and pay painfully but after hearing what he had and knowing there was probably still more that Sam wasn’t saying he knew Walt also needed to learn why hurting Dean’s little brother wasn’t just stupid but suicidal as well.

Now as he stood with his forearm pressing into the soft throat of the man who’d treated his brother worse than a slave and who clearly planned to do it again and Dean’s thoughts went back to that day when he walked back into the cabin to find Sam sitting stiff on the sofa and just tugged until his brother went into his arms, the walls caving in fully and the next two hours were pure emotion for both Winchesters.

“Why?” he demanded harshly, pressing his arm harder until finally the sneer was replaced by a look of shock when it begun to hit Walt that Dean was serious. “Why go after Sam, Walt? Or why hurt him like a piece of meat or…”

“A whore?” Walt gasped out, trying to dislodged the arm that was choking him but found with some shock that Dean was stronger. “No one wants him. No one cares about the freak so why not use him up before I kill him? We both know I wouldn’t be the first one to since it ain’t no secret what that pal of your Dad’s did to the kid so maybe it ain’t a stretch to think that maybe John knew what his little boy would grow up to be and…”

White hot rage flew over Dean as he understood the not so hidden meaning in that comment, his gun disappearing to give him both hands free to release the pent up anger and frustration that had been burning him up inside since his return from Purgatory.

“You sick son of a bitch!” his felt something break under his fist and didn’t care that Walt as fighting back because he was now running on fury and the few blows the other man managed to land wouldn’t even be noticed until later. “You want to die then keeping bringing Sam up or reminding me what you did to him while I wasn’t around but if you want me to skin you alive and make you watch as I cut pieces off of you then let my Dad come into this again.”

Dean knew it wasn’t a secret in the community of hunters that John Winchester was a hard as nails bastard at times who even his ‘friends’ didn’t always like and Dean had stopped denying years ago that his Dad had been a decent father because he hadn’t been.

The kind and loving father Dean knew for the first four years of his life left the picture the night his Mom died on the ceiling of Sam’s nursery. Dean had never seen that man again and Sam never knew him.

John had been tough, stern, one-minded and didn’t take back talk or anything that wasn’t part of what he planned. He trained his sons like he’d been trained in the Marines. He and Sam butted heads over nearly anything and everything once Sam got old enough to talk back and Dean had gotten a few bruises while stepping between them.

Dean accepted years ago what he’d have to do to assure peace within his family. He accepted what he’d have to give up to allow Sam freedom one day and took the occasional backhand for talking back if it deflected John’s anger away from something his mouthy little brother had said to him but he also knew their Dad loved them even if he didn’t show it like most Dads would except for a few times.

Like when Sam was sixteen and had been hurt by John’s own friend. Then Dean had seen that side of his Dad come out…once the rage had burned away and he wished Sam could recall that part of it but knew he didn’t.

“My Dad was a son of a bitch to live with, to hunt with or to just be around most times and he pushed us harder than I liked but goddamn you, he never touched his sons like that and he killed the bastard that did hurt Sam,” Dean was raw by this point, letting Walt go only when he realized he was no longer struggling and glared down at the bloody faced man. “My Dad could be a cold hearted, stubborn bastard but unlike you and others like you he wasn’t a pervert and the next asshole who gets brave enough to spout that crap to my face will get a lot more than you just did.”

Kicking hard into Walt’s gut, Dean felt some satisfaction at the groan of pain even though he knew nothing he did barring a trip back to the things he learned in hell would ever cause the ex-hunter the pain that Sam had felt and was still feeling because Walt just wasn’t built that way.

Oh, he felt fear as it began to hit him that Dean was no longer thinking like a hunter but like an older brother who was keeping a long ago made promise but he would never understand the kind of fear or shame that he’d put Sam through and despite the burning rage still coursing through him Dean knew nothing he did would bring that and despite how much he wanted the man to bleed, to die…punishment for this needed to be a bit more extreme.

“I could kill you so damn easily and not think twice about it,” he told Walt in a voice that was pure hate and disgust, kneeling down to press the muzzle of his Colt into the hollow of his throat. “When I decided to bring you here to Bobby’s, that’s what I wanted to do because I know every sinkhole, every burning spot, every little hidden place here to hide or dispose of a corpse.

“For six weeks every time I heard Sam wake up screaming for me or at you to stop I envisioned the ways I’d hurt you that you’d beg and knowing that you came here with plans to drug my little brother again…that you planned to rape him again if you could…I still want to gut you like a pig and leave you to bleed out,” Dean wanted that, he wanted to let go and become the man he’d been in Hell and who he was fighting to leave behind from Purgatory.

Though as he pressed the gun in harder a flash of wet and huge hazel eyes came to him and he could feel Sam in his arms last night begging him not to do anything stupid and to let it go and the hurt look this morning when he’d left him in town with the excuse of checking Bobby’s old place to see if there was anything else he could salvage from it.

Sam was still raw and hurting but he wasn’t stupid and Dean knew his brother suspected there was more to this sudden trip to Sioux Falls than he was saying but while he didn’t plan on leaving Sam in Montana while he handled Walt, he also didn’t want his brother anywhere close to the bastard and had left him at the only other safe place here that he trusted.

“I want you to bleed and I could do that, Walt. I know ways to make the human body scream and beg to die without even coming close to actually killing you and with you it would be so easy to do that but…” Dean closed his eyes for just a second and while his grip on the gun eased, the hardness on his face, in his voice remained. “…that would let you off too easy and I want you to pay for what you’ve done to Sammy, to others.”

Walt spit blood, managing another sneer when he realized Dean wasn’t going to kill him. “If you don’t kill me, punk…your brother will never be safe because one day you’re back’s gonna be turned and I’ll gut you and then argh!!”

The knife pierced his hand, pinning it to the ground as Dean pushed to his feet. “No, you won’t because while I may not kill you…I also didn’t say you were gonna be walking around free,” he glanced over his shoulder at the sound of footsteps he knew were made to let him know his time was up. “There was another reason I had you meet me here, Walt.

“When Bobby died he left the junkyard, the house, all of this to me and Sam but it’s looked after by someone else and it’s also private property,” Dean smiled a bit colder as he yanked the knife free, wiped it clean on Walt’s shirt before slicing it over his own arm a little. “You attacked me, I fought back or that’s what she’s going to say happen. Hey, Sheriff.”

Sheriff Jodi Mills took in the scene with a shake of her head at Dean but eyed the man on the ground like he was something worse than dirt. “So is this the ass that had Sam turning up at my door one day looking worse than roadkill?” she asked, a little surprised the guy wasn’t bleeding more than he was considering Dean’s mood.

“Yeah, and can you guarantee he won’t walk out of a cell?” Dean didn’t like this plan since it reminded him too much of Gordon and a part of him would much rather gut Walt than risk more harm later down the road.

“You’ve got nothing on me, jackass!” Walt spit as two deputies pulled him up to handcuff him. “I’ll claim self-defense on this and your little punk brother won’t testify that I did anything to him and neither will…”

Dean’s eyes narrowed and only Jodi shoving him back kept him from lunging. “You will never touch my brother again,” he gritted, hating the smirk on the other man’s face but looking down at the feel of a finger poking him. “What?”

“Bobby had stuff on this maggot that I guess he was holding back for later use and after running his name and prints it looks like he’s got standing warrants in about seven states…three of which still have the death penalty for murder cases and that’s what he’s looking at in Texas so there’s no chance in hell that he’ll see freedom anytime soon, Dean,” Jodi assured him, ordering her officers to get Walt to the car and to hold him in a cell until she got back to book him. “I’ll book him for now on trespassing and assault charges before I leak it to the wires that he’s here and see which county and state will show up on my doorstep first.”

Walt’s voice still carried back through the junkyard as it screamed what he’d do the first chance he got and slowly Dean leaned back against a car to close his eyes. “I don’t want him near him, Jodi,” he murmured, exhaustion plain on his rugged face since he rarely called her by her name unless he was sucking up for some infraction.

“I know you’re used to doing it your way, hotshot, but this one time let the law handle him and you take your cocky ass back to the little brother you dropped off at my place this morning,” she told him, wishing these two weren’t so damn tall that she had to stretch so much as she leaned up to gently kiss his cheek. “He thinks you aren’t coming back for him, Dean.”

Green eyes shot open at that one, staring at her. “Damn it,” he muttered, hating that Sam still didn’t believe him when he said it would get better but suspected he knew why his brother still had doubts. “Yeah, it’s been a rough past couple months for us without all this crap coming back for him. Sammy and me have been fighting pretty bad and he still has his doubts if I’m serious about sticking it out so…I’ll grab him and get outta your…”

A key pressing into his palm took the hunter off guard and he looked down at the bright eyed Sheriff warily. “What’s…this?” he asked, knowing it wasn’t a motel key but looked more like a house key.

“There’s a roast in the slow cooker on the kitchen counter. The freezer’s stocked with frozen meals I made last week and I stocked the fridge with beer, soda, juice, water as well as junk food so you two won’t starve until I get back Monday morning,” Jodi explained, nudging Dean back through the junkyard to where the Impala was parked behind the house. “My housekeeper won’t be coming around and the key is if you happen to leave the house you won’t lock yourselves out and break down my damn door again.”

“Huh? Come again?” Dean was at a loss, blaming a serious lack of sleep for his inability to understand this change of plans. “Look, Jodi…I appreciate this but what Sam and I…I mean, what we need to do…talk about is probably best down…not in your home,” he definitely had no clue how to explain just what he was planning on doing with Sam with the town Sheriff smiling up at him since he was fairly certain half of what they did was still illegal.

Rolling her eyes, Jodi Mills had to give Bobby credit for not slapping either of these boys in the head more than he did but she had to admit that Dean was cute when he blushed and stumbled. “Dean, I was once a married woman with a son so my house knows what sex is and probably my place is a lot more private than that old motel outside of town with paper thin walls for what you better be getting up to with Sam over the weekend,” she counted to three before snapping her fingers in front of the wide green eyes.

“What? You think…no…we’re… _sonuvabitch_ ,” Dean mumbled, damn certain he should be getting swallowed by a black hole by this point with the way his stomach kept dropping and his head was ringing from the pounding of his heart. “Sam told you?”

“Are you serious? Sam nearly hyperventilated when I asked him if he thought he was healed emotionally or physically enough to have sex with you,” Jodi shrugged, biting her lip at the sound of a choked breath from beside her and decided it might not be good for Sam if his brother had a stroke. “Bobby told me you two were…testing boundaries was his nice way of putting it and since I don’t want to kill you I won’t tell you what he said when he was drunk and not being nice.”

Dean wanted to die right then. He thought he and Sam had been pretty clever at hiding their relationship from the older man and because Bobby hadn’t kicked them out of the house or threatened Dean with a shotgun he’d been certain Bobby hadn’t known. “Shit,” he hissed, glancing toward the house guiltily until Jodi reached up to touch his face in understanding.

“He loved you two and said while he’d have tanned both your hides if you would’ve done it when he was in the house he couldn’t fault you if it made you and Sam happy and since, _hel-lo_ I do have eyes and saw the way you look at Sam and vice versa when you don’t think anyone is watching I’d already figured that out,” she smiled at his scowl, kissing his cheek. “Now, before I arrest you for something I’ll make up later get your butt to my house and there better be a smile on Sam’s face when I see you two again or I will throw you in a cell.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dean nodded, pausing with his hand on the Impala’s door. “Sheriff…thanks for everything and for looking out for him while I was gone.”

“Well someone has to,” Jodi returned as she got in the Sheriff’s cruiser to head into town to deal with Walt and then to her sister’s for the weekend while hoping the Winchesters could heal from this latest blow because she hated to think that she’d failed Bobby that much by failing the boys.

It felt weird as Dean parked the Impala in front of the house in town while seriously wondering if he could do this someplace other than a cabin or a motel when he noticed the house seemed oddly silent and tried not to get freaked out yet.

Seeing the door was locked, he bit down on his lip and unlocked the door to let himself in to the silent house. “Sam?” he called, wincing when he swore his voice echoed.

Dean checked the kitchen to be sure whatever Jodi had the roast in wouldn’t blow up if he didn’t tend to it and by the time he set a foot on the bottom step to go upstairs his worry was increasing.

If Sam told Jodi that he didn’t think Dean was coming back then he’d been scared enough to worry and when Sam was sick and brooding he tended to do stupid things, and that was what caused Dean to sprint up the steps to the second floor to begin checking the few rooms up there.

“Sammy! Damn it, where the hell are you?” Dean opened the door to the last room on the second floor, relief flooding him that Sam’s jacket was still on the bed but he still felt uneasy that he hadn’t located his brother yet. “Sam, answer…” he spun when the bathroom door opened and was across the room in the next heartbeat.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you get back,” Sam rubbed at his eyes but before he could blink or say anything more he was being tugged against his brother’s chest and held and if he hadn’t watched Dean get the tattoo fixed six weeks earlier he’d have been tempted to say ‘Christo’ just to check but didn’t. “Dean?”

Waiting to see if Sam would do what he honestly expected him to, Dean released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding at the fear that his little brother had been so scared about him not coming back for him that he’d left himself.

“I don’t ever want you thinking that I’d just walk out on you, Sam. Or that I’d leave you and not come back when I said I was,” he began, fighting for a level voice but it was hard when Dean realized how much he was shaking right then and when he noticed the redness around his brother’s eyes. “I wanted you to sleep today so I left you here while I…”

“While you went and handled Walt?” Sam felt Dean tense and began to pull back when he caught the thin line of blood on Dean’s arm. “Shit! What the hell happened?” he demanded, wanting to see how bad the cut was. “How’d the hell he get close enough to cut you? Damn it, this is why I…mmhm…”

Dean’s mouth on his in a heated kiss stopped the words and it took Sam a minute or two to realize he’d been backed against the wall with his brother’s hand wrapped in his t-shirt.

This wasn’t the first time since the demon that they’d kissed but it was the first time that Dean had kissed him with any heat behind it or that it hadn’t been quickly broken. This kiss took Sam back to other times, to times when it had been good between them, before things went wrong.

“I…umm, what’s…” Sam knew his concussion was gone but for the life of him right then couldn’t form a full sentence or think of what to say and any chance he did have of thinking clearly went out the window the second Dean’s mouth kissed its way down to the spot just below Sam’s ear and locked on. “God,” he moaned softly, fighting against the urge to touch his brother.

“You done yelling at me now, Sammy?” Dean asked softly while making certain he could still see Sam’s face to gauge his reaction to this but the need to kiss him, to taste him had finally become too much for the older Winchester and he gave into it. “Walt didn’t cut me. I cut myself to make it look good in case one of Jodi’s deputies wanted to ask anything. Walt may need a trip to the ER before he sits in a cell for a very long time.”

Distracted by this sudden change in Dean’s decision not to touch him yet, Sam’s eyes had fallen closed the more Dean’s mouth kissed its way down his neck before going back to his jaw. “He…he won’t leave it alone, Dean,” he tried to say, fingers fisting rather than grab onto his brother’s shoulders and do what he was really tempted to by this point.

It had been six weeks of healing, nightmares, near fights and guilt for the both of them and while Sam understood and appreciated Dean’s need to protect him from everything including himself, he also needed to know if his brother was serious about still wanting him.

Though right then he thought he had the answer to that issue. Now it was a matter of seeing how far Dean would go until they were alone without the risk of Sheriff Mills walking in on them.

“Walt is not going to be seeing daylight for the next few life sentences from what Jodi figures and that’s assuming a couple states don’t try to fry his ass for what they want him for,” Dean told him, not stopping what he was doing until he felt Sam still and then he lifted his head to meet stunned hazel eyes. “He will never hurt you or anyone else again, Sammy and…neither will anyone else while I’m alive.”

Sam had suspected that the trip to Sioux Falls was so his brother could handle things even though he’d tried to talk Dean out of it because he hadn’t wanted Walt close enough to hurt Dean.

The thought that maybe the other hunter was gone and he didn’t have to feel the need to look over his shoulder for him every town they stopped at or on every hunt or the silly childish urge to look in every room in a motel room or the backseat of the Impala made him suddenly weak and only Dean’s hands kept him standing.

“Easy, take it easy,” Dean quickly shifted gears as he supported his suddenly shaking brother until he got him seated on the bottom of the bed, kneeling on the floor beside him and worried until Sam’s gaze met his. “You okay?”

“I never thought…he said that…” Sam stared at his hands, still a little shocked that it could be this easy to have Walt finally out of their lives and not have to look over his shoulder anymore.

“Oh, it was either a cell or a grave because one way or another he wasn’t leaving South Dakota and still be a threat to you,” Dean assured him, slowly rubbing a hand over Sam’s leg until he felt the muscles begin to relax. “I just needed to deal with him a little and not have you around while I did it but…I’d never leave you behind.”

Sam’s mind was coming back alive and groaned. “Damn it,” he knew where Dean was getting that. “Jodi told you what I said.”

“Yeah, before she threatened to arrest me if I didn’t fix this with you,” Dean nodded, keeping his one hand moving on Sam’s leg in a soothing motion while he let his other slowly begin to trail up until his fingers could slip under Sam’s t-shirt to feel warm skin. “Need to ask you a couple things though, Sammy.”

“Uhhh, yeah?” Sam finally became aware of how close Dean’s fingers where to his groin and the one part of his body that had been missing his brother’s touch almost as much as Sam was himself. “What?” he blinked to make his eyes move to Dean’s rather to watch those long fingers stroking slowly over the denim he still wore.

Dean smiled a little at the distracted way Sam answered and kind of felt that way himself after so long of waiting, of wanting but still needing to be sure his brother was ready. “First, are you hungry?” he was but not for the roast cooking downstairs but didn’t think telling Sam that would help either of them right then.

“Umm for food?” Sam groaned when he heard his own voice, a faint blush spreading over his cheeks when Dean’s eyes darkened. “No, I had soup earlier,” he dropped his eyes but then found his gaze back to where the fingers were slowly getting closer to the cock that was reminding him of how long it had been since he’d had sex and wanted it.

“Huh-uh, food later then. Next question then would be how’re you feeling?” Dean asked, adding in case his brother decided to bluff his way through any leftover pain. “In pain, sore anywhere that you’re not telling me about?”

Sam found that he had to bite his tongue to keep the answer that almost came out in since he was fairly certain the ache between his legs as his cock slowly hardened within the confines of his underwear and jeans was not what his brother meant by pain.

“No, just the occasional pain in my shoulders and back but that’s not all the time,” he licked his lips when Dean slowly nudged his knees apart until he was kneeling between them which also allowed the hand that was slowly tracing the muscles in his stomach better access to the skin under his t-shirt. “Ummm, next…oh God, next question?”

Dean’s eyes were locked on Sam’s face to watch ever flicker of emotion that was passing over it as he touched him but waited until he slid his other hand right over the clear and obvious bulge in his brother’s jeans to speak again. “Can I touch you?”

“What? Ummm, aren’t you touching me already?” Sam asked, gasping suddenly at the feel of calloused fingers running over one hardening nub on his chest and groaned low in his throat at the feel of his cock pressing more against his jeans and so close to where Dean’s hand was just hovering.

“Good point, Geek Boy,” Dean acknowledged, remembering that even with his brain cells going to mush his pain in the ass little brother could have a smart mouth when he wanted to. “Let me make this real clear then so there absolutely no misunderstanding,” he let the weight of his hand press down against Sam’s crotch to feel the heat and dampness already there. “Can I make love to you, Sammy?”

Sam wasn’t sure if it was the tone of voice Dean had right then, that warm and low phone sex tone his brother could get at times, or the feel of his hand pressing against his cock that right then decided it wasn’t waiting for Sam another damn second, or just the fact that Dean was so close after Sam feared that this may never happen again that the second Dean asked it Sam’s eyes shot wide open as he came right there before he could even think to reply or warn Dean.

A heavy silence filled the bedroom as Sam struggled against the urge to lock himself in the bathroom to avoid the burning shame that was creeping up his neck since he hadn’t lost it like that since he’d been an angst filled teenager lusting after something he thought he could never have.

“Shit, Sam,” Dean finally broke the silence, a little surprised by his brother’s sudden climax with only that little bit of stimulation and also a lot surprised that he hadn’t come just on that alone but then Sam snapped back to himself and made a quick dash for the bathroom. “Sam, wait.”

It had been well over a year since the last time he and Dean had had any real physical contact and Sam tried to calm down but he couldn’t quit thinking about how he’d just ruined a moment he’d been dreaming about since the day he walked into Rufus’s cabin to see his brother again and all the months since then.

“Damn it,” he whispered, jerking the taps of the sink on to run water while beginning to unbutton his jeans to strip and clean off; wondering how long it would be before he could convince his brother to get close to him again and unaware of the tears falling on his cheeks until a gentle hand brushed them away. “Wha…Dean? No, I’m…I’m…sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Dean had stood in the bathroom door to watch Sam, considering giving him time and privacy to calm down but the second he’d seen the tears he moved in to stand behind his brother. “It’s okay,” he murmured, wrapping one arm around Sam’s chest while gently wiping the tears away with his other hand and pressing soft kisses against his neck. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Sam wanted to pull away, to try to forget this happened but didn’t as Dean’s other arm wrapped around him and he suddenly turned to just give in to the embrace and the emotions that had welled up. “I’ve wanted you for so damn long. I thought you didn’t want me anymore and it’s so hard for me to even want to be touched after what Walt did that…and now…in there…you weren’t even doing anything and I came and…” he let the tears come for the first time in months since while the emotions had been there, Sam hadn’t felt safe enough to shed the burning tears until now and he supposed he couldn’t be anymore humiliated right then.

Staying silent to let Sam get it all out, Dean’s hands rubbed soothingly along his brother’s back and shoulders until he felt him begin to calm down and the harsh sobs became softer. “Want you still, baby boy,” he whispered against Sam’s neck as he began to give small soft kisses along the long line of exposed skin, feeling his brother’s breath slow down. “Can I show you how much I want you?”

Glad he was leaning against the sink, Sam’s arms tightened around Dean but he didn’t lift his head just moved it enough to offer better access to the hot lips that were slowly working their way up until Dean’s mouth got to his jaw but ignored that to lick along the shell of Sam’s ear and the younger man shuddered.

“We’re…umm…Sheriff, God, I want you, Dean,” he groaned, fingers fisting the back of his brother’s shirts and not sure if he could wait for a motel when he heard Dean’s low chuckle. “Not funny, Dean. We can’t do this here. Jodi might be…”

“Jodi won’t be home until Monday morning, little brother,” Dean told him, voice going husky as his hands slipped lower to begin to work on the button and zipper on Sam’s jeans. “Just you, me, and an empty house,” he kept his voice low as this began to sink in to his brother. “So…tell me what you want to do, Sam.”

Suddenly having a hard time breathing as it sank in what Jodi had meant when she told him she’d seen him on Monday and he better be smiling, Sam turned his face against Dean’s neck and felt his brother’s fingers working on his jeans. “You,” he replied, lifting his head with hazel eyes gone wide and dark. “I want you, Dean. Now and I don’t care how or where or…”

This time the kiss was hot and searing but still not hard like Sam expected it to be after so long, groaning at the feel of Dean’s tongue when it pressed against his lips and without a thought of hesitation Sam’s mouth opened to allow it full access to whatever his brother wanted to take.

After a year apart and all the stress and crap, Dean doubted if this first time would take long since he was already hard and leaking precome through both his boxer briefs and heavy denim jeans as he managed to get them out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom without breaking the kiss since he was determined to explore every inch of his brother between now and Monday.

“We…we have way too many clothes on for this,” Sam grumbled, fingers shaking as he tried to unbutton the damn button down shirt his brother was wearing and wondering briefly how much Dean would bitch if he just tore it open when he felt his fingers moved aside.

“Take yours off and I’ll handle the complicated stuff,” Dean had been willing to let Sam work on the shirt until he noticed how frustrated he was becoming and he’d lost too many overshirts to his little brother’s frustrations to risk another one.

Sam didn’t have to be told twice as his t-shirt was pulled off and he only hesitated at the jeans because he hadn’t cleaned himself off from a little bit ago and he still felt embarrassed by it when Dean’s hands took care of the jeans and underwear for him.

He groaned as the clothes were pulled down his legs a second before a hand to his chest gently pushed him back until he was laying on his back, looking up at his brother as Dean shed his own jeans and underwear and Sam was sure his spit had dried up even though this certainly wasn’t the first time he’d seen his brother naked with his cock already blood read, hard and leaking precome but it had been a long time with each of them going through so much.

“You okay with this?” Dean asked, kneeling on the bed slowly as Sam moved back until he was fully on the bed. “You know it’s the same rules. We do what you want and stop if you…hey! Sam!” he had to act fast to support himself on his arms and keep his full weight off his brother when Sam suddenly reached up to pull him onto the bed.

“Do you want me, Dean?” Sam needed to know this one thing, feeling his heart beating against his ribs out of worry that maybe Dean was only saying what he thought he wanted to hear. “I mean, after everything recently, everything you’ve found out or…do you want this with me or…”

A hand covered his mouth in warning and green eyes that were getting darker with lust locked on his when Dean allowed his weight to settle more over Sam’s body and had to fight the moan of want that came because it never failed to shock him how right this seemed or how right they fit together like this.

“Want you, need you…love you, baby boy,” he murmured before moving his hand to replace it with his mouth for a kiss that was hot and deep but soft and loving, the kind he knew they both enjoyed. “I wish I could say this first time would take a while but I think we both know it won’t but I’ll make it good for you, Sammy.”

Sam didn’t have any doubts about that since from the first time Dean had always managed to make it good for him. He opened his mouth to say that but lost the words the moment those lips that he used to dream about kissing closed over his chest to begin kissing and licking a line straight down to his navel where he dipped his tongue in and Sam nearly jumped at the feeling.

“You still jump when I do that,” Dean smiled against Sam’s stomach, offering a low growl at the playful hand that slapped his head. “You want to play now?” he asked with a slow smile that normally meant trouble but before Sam could object he’d slid one hand between his brother’s spread legs to find and cup his balls in his palm and heard the moan and curse come out of Sam.

“Oh!” Sam’s head went back at the feel of his Dean’s palm lovingly working his balls when the fingers of his other hand lightly wrapped around Sam’s cock that was coming back to life. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll be good, no more slapping,” he gasped, surprised that it was so easy to laugh after a year of pure hell. “Just…damn, yeah like that,” he heard a laugh that shocked him because it had been even longer since he’d heard Dean’s honest laugh.

Dean had shifted a little so he could work at teasing his brother but still see his face. Because Sam was so openly emotional, it was always a rush for Dean to watch the array of emotions and feelings that crossed Sam’s face during sex. “I wish you could see yourself like this, Sammy,” he spoke in a tone that he knew was deeper than normal and just a little shaky as he fought to hold back the need to take but this wasn’t the time.

“I can see you,” Sam returned, pushing up to an elbow so he could try to reach for his brother only to have Dean move so he could meet for a kiss that made Sam moan against the open lips and tongue that was licking into his mouth. “Dean…need to feel you.”

“You will,” Dean assured him, looking into his brother’s eyes more closely when Sam’s fingers closed over his wrist.

“Now, Dean,” Sam whispered tightly, his cock hardening and already dripping again and he didn’t want to ruin it this time. “It’s been so long since I’ve…come because I want to and for you that I need to feel you inside me this time when I do…I want you to come inside me,” he began to lower his eyes when a hand cupped his jaw to lift it up again. “Please.”

Seeing the unspoken need and want shining in Sam’s glistening eyes nearly made Dean lose it right there but he was quick to squeeze the base of his own leaking and needy cocky to stave it back as he slowly eased up to curve his fingers around his brother’s face before kissing him slowly, letting the heat build again until Sam’s hips were thrusting up with a whine of burning need and he nodded.

“Roll over,” he slipped a couple pillows under his brother’s stomach to help to avoid putting more stress on his back and shoulders while slowly stroking a hand down over his ass and only had a brief moment of flashback to the demon forcing his cock into Sam.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Sam spoke softly as if knowing what he was thinking, twisting his upper body enough that he could look over his shoulder. “Dean…if I didn’t trust you to do this or want you to, do you think we’d be where we are now?” he asked, reaching back to grasp for Dean’s hand and squeezed tightly. “I know you won’t hurt me and will probably torture…in a good way…me while opening me so I can take you with as little pain as possible.”

“Damn straight,” Dean muttered, his eyes stayed on Sam until his brother moved their hands so that he could press Dean’s hand against the swell of the cheek with the burn and slowly his attention moved up to watchful eyes. “I won’t hurt you, Sammy.”

Sam’s smile was almost shy as he nodded, resting his head back on his arms when he felt the bed shifted as Dean leaned over to grab his jeans for the tube he’d stuffed in there earlier. “Dean, can I ask you a question?”

“Now you want to talk?” Dean actually laughed but nodded while his hands slowly began to massage Sam’s lower back and down until his muscles relaxed more and he lubed one finger before just slipping the tip into the tight puckered hole to test. “Have I told you before that you want to talk at the worst times?”

“I’m distracting you,” Sam replied, gasping at the first touch of a finger at the rim of his hole. “Ummm, what was Benny…doin’ in Montana?” he asked, suddenly wondering who was distracting who and really wishing his brother would just get started with something because his cock was reacting to even this small touch.

Dean watched the muscle movement as he lightly teased the entrance with just the tip of his finger while soothing his other hand over Sam’s hip, easing more between his legs so while he began to stretch his brother out for him he could also lean up to touch or kiss him.

He’d honestly been wondering when Sam would get around to asking him about Benny’s reason for being so close to them since there were plenty of other places he could cross into Canada without coming to Montana.

“Benny had been having a harder time since that mess with Martin went down. It was harder for him to control things like he had been and…while I believed when he said he hadn’t went over the line again I didn’t trust it and so wanted to see him one more time for myself to gauge it,” Dean began, not hiding the groan when he put more lube on his finger and over the crease of Sam’s ass and slipped the finger in to the first knuckle the hole clenched around him tightly.

“Damn, I forgot how tight you could be,” he whispered, feeling Sam fighting not to move back on his finger and started to kiss up his back; starting at the small of his back where the fading scared word could still be seen and taking his time to lave wet kisses there before moving slowly up the center of his spine while working on moving his finger around, in and out until the muscles inside relaxed against the intrusion to allow him past that first ring of muscle.

Sam had buried his face in the pillow to hide his moans. It had been so long since he’d felt pleasure of any kind that it was a fight not to come again on just a single finger. “You…he…was okay?” he groaned as the lips sucked a wet line up his back to his neck and instinctively stretched his neck more to the side to allow his brother’s mouth access to it but then cried out as lights exploded in front of his eyes and he thrust back at the feel of a finger hitting his prostate. “Fuck!”

“That’s the eventual plan,” Dean chuckled, sounding ragged already from holding back to give Sam as much as he could from this. “Hey, if you have to come while I’m doing this then you do and we’ll work on getting you hard again if you want but I don’t want you fighting against this and I’m not entering you until I’ve got you looser than what you are now.”

Dean didn’t offer his brother any kind of assistance in keeping back his orgasm because he suspected that even though Sam said he was alright that he wouldn’t want anything on his cock like a cockring because of the thing the demon used on him and he figured but hadn’t asked that Walt would have also kept Sam unable to find pleasure or release.

“I’ll…I’m good,” Sam gasped, hoping he was because he didn’t want to come again until he could feel Dean buried deep inside him. “It’s…just been…awhile since…I felt that.”

Slowly easing a second finger inside the loosening hole, the tightness was still there but Dean understood that it would take several times of doing this until Sam would be looser and wouldn’t need so long to be stretched open to the point where Dean was comfortable with.

“How long, Sam?” Dean remembered something Sam had said back at that motel and he had an uneasy feeling that the last time his little brother had felt this kind of pleasure was the last night they’d spent together before the final fight with Roman.

“The last time you touched me,” Sam whispered, wanting to move back to take the fingers deeper when he went still at the feel of Dean gently scissoring the two but the moment his brother lightly brushed them over that one spot again he was moving in whatever way he could to try to find friction for his leaking cock and to get that feeling back in his ass again. “More, Dean. Please…stretched enough and wanna feel you,” he groaned, turning his head at the feel of teeth lightly scraping his jaw before Dean’s mouth sucked onto his pulse point with a low growl.

“You are so not stretched enough for me,” Dean murmured against his neck, licking and sucking until he got to Sam’s ear where he licked around the shell because he knew it was one of his brother’s weak points while the fingers of his free hand reached up to run through long soft dark hair and he tightened his grip enough to hold and pull but not hurt. “You will be soon. Plus, I wanna hear you, Sammy.”

Ever since Sam was a teenager jerking off in the shower or in his bed if he thought Dean was asleep or not home yet, the sounds his little brother could make never failed to make him hard and knowing that he could get those low moans, little whimpers and the occasional shout or scream out of him still thrilled him.

“Oh…oh…shit!” Sam groaned, gasping at the feel of a third finger sliding into his slowly stretching hole and now there was a burn there from the tightness but it was replaced quickly by pleasure and he wanted the tightness that could only come when Dean’s cock filled him. “Dean…need to…God, I don’t wanna come without…”

“I know,” Dean could feel the stress on his brother as he tried to hold himself in control and he worked a little quicker now that he could at least move three fingers in and out of Sam with a tightness that worried him but understood what Sam needed by this point.

It had been well over a year since sex for Sam had meant anything but pain, shame, or duty and while Dean’s body and cock certainly also couldn’t wait to slid into the tight heat that he could remember his brother’s body being he also suddenly knew he needed to make a slight change to the gameplan.

Curving three fingers a little and hearing an actual low keening sound rip from Sam’s throat as he had to press his other hand quickly against Sam’s back to urge him to be still and the second he felt him tense a little Dean made his choice.

“Okay, you’re still going to be tight because it’s been a long time for us and I do feel healing scars inside from the asshole but…if you’re sure you’re ready then…Sammy, now is not the time to bitchface me,” he warned, hiding his grin by biting his lip and giving a swift hard tug to his brother’s hair, another weak point Sam seemed to have.

“Want you,” Sam gasped, cock now fully hard and wanting as he tried to move to grab his brother when he suddenly felt Dean shift away. “What? Where, Dean…?” he blinked when he was pulled up to his knees and with a hazy blink to bring things back into focus he stared at his brother as Dean stretched out on his back. “What’re you…”

Adoring how fuzzy brained his little brother could get during sex, Dean used the distraction to get Sam where he wanted him and that was straddling him, their cocks bumping against each other as he leaned up to wraps his fingers around Sam’s neck to bring his head closer for a hot kiss, only breaking it when he heard the moan come from deep within Sam’s chest.

“You’re in control. I want you to put my cock inside you and do what you want, baby boy,” he explained slowly, licking slowly over Sam’s lips, over his cheek to taste the leftover salt from tears before using his teeth to lightly nibble down his neck. “I want to see you when you come apart this time, Sammy.”

Sam was sure his heart could be seen pounding through his skin but his brother’s green eyes were dark with desire and love, understanding why Dean was willing to do this and fighting the emotions that wanted to come again.

Normally when they made love or had sex or whatever term Dean was using that week, Sam was only to willing to allow his brother control of it and even now as Dean settled back on the bed to watch him slowly begin to move up to pour lube into his shaking hand to coat his brother’s cock with while also using its own precome to help slick the way to a smooth entrance, Sam understood his brother wasn’t giving up control so much as he was allowing him his own bit.

Walt’s attack had always left Sam helpless to it. He’d been tied to a bed or over a bench as his ass or mouth was violated for the man’s sick pleasure. With Amelia, Sam had given her pleasure but taken none for himself because he’d still been so raw.

Now with Dean, the first time again after so long and so much, he was giving Sam the ability to control the speed and how much he could take this time and it took a lot not to show his brother how much this little gesture meant.

Of course Dean could read Sam like a book and could see each separate emotion that flashed over his face and through his eyes but stayed silent to allow each one to pass until finally Sam’s eyes locked back on his before leaning down to gently suck Dean’s bottom lip into his mouth and let his fingers get used to feeling the thick and heavy cock again in his hand.

“Mmm, you do that too much and we’ll be starting over,” Dean warned, voice husky and low but he never closed his eyes because he wanted to watch Sam as he adjusted so his long legs were spread over Dean’s thighs. “This okay with you, Sam?”

“Thank you,” Sam murmured, fingers shaking suddenly when he began to place the head of Dean’s cock at his entrance and slowly lowered himself down with a groan. “God…”

“Nah, I thought I told you years ago that you can still call me Dean,” Dean’s voice was tight as he teased, moving his hands up to grip Sam’s hips to steady him while keeping his eyes locked on his face for signs of pain or distress but relaxed a little when all he saw reflected back at him was awe and pleasure.

“Shut up,” Sam laughed a little and then waited another second so his body could adjust to the much larger intrusion before sinking down lower on his brother’s cock to feel the ring of muscle give in as both it and Sam accepted the return of the only person Sam had ever wanted touching him like this. “Missed this, Dean.”

“Missed you, Sammy,” Dean returned softly, reaching up with a hand to gently brush away the single tear that slipped free before speaking again. “Love you, baby boy.”

They didn’t always talk a lot during these moments or at least not words that Sam would ever feel comfortable repeating in polite company and it usually took extreme emotion to get Dean to utter words of love so to hear him say that now, before Sam was even fully seated, took his breath away and with a sudden gasping moan felt Dean slip fully into his tight heat and he was flush, pressing against Dean’s balls and not missing the groan and curse his brother offered at the feeling.

Sam’s eyes had fallen closed at the tight feeling of being filled, nearly overwhelmed by the rush of pleasure just feeling Dean inside him, under him was giving and nearly afraid to move and break the spell until his eyes snapped open at the feel of fingers playing over his chest and down to curve over his pelvic bone.

“You going to move, Sammy?” Dean asked calmly, glad his voice was steady because it was taking every ounce of his strength not to thrust up but he’d allowed Sam this moment for a reason and would give his little brother all the time he needed.

He wanted to in the worst way but a piece of Sam was suddenly afraid of not being good enough, or doing something wrong since he’d been told… “We…we never did it this way too often,” he spoke shakily, steadying himself by placing his palms flat on Dean’s chest and was unaware when they began to move in slow circles over and down.

“We did a couple of times,” Dean replied tightly, seeing the strain on Sam’s face but he also saw the doubt and once again wished he had killed the bastard who’d hurt his brother to this point. “Sammy, you’re going to be fine. Just move a little until you find your rhythm and…mmmm, that’s my boy.”

Sam eased up a little before letting himself sink again with his full weight, feeling Dean’s hips move up a little and with a small smile began to roll his hips down on his brother to hear Dean moan but it was Sam who whimpered when he moved again and the heavy and ready cock held tight within his ass brushed over that one spot that could always make him see stars.

“So tight, little brother,” Dean told him, watching Sam’s head fall back with his tongue stuck between his teeth as he concentrated too hard on pleasing Dean and not on what he needed to be doing. “So damn hot and you want to come on my cock, Sammy?”

He did more than anything, but just as he was finding a pattern of gentle thrusting and rolls he suddenly could hear the grunting voice of Walt insulting and throwing jabs and nearly stopped moving until gentle fingers were on his face.

“Look at me,” Dean saw what was happening and refused to let that asshole ever get into Sam’s head, especially not now.

Dean waited until Sam’s eyes opened to meet his again, the doubts clear in them and he leaned up in a way that brought Sam tighter against him but he wanted to be able to touch his brother, to let his fingers ground him in the here and now.

“You’re doing fine and whatever he said to you, put it away because it’s not true. There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong in what we do and…little brother, come for me now,” Dean whispered against Sam’s ear, catching his mouth in a searing kiss before feeling Sam’s cock which was pressed between them jerk and swallowed his cry of pleasure when it came.

Hot white stripes of come shot out hard and fast, covering both of their chests and Dean’s neck but he didn’t say anything about that as Sam’s hips kept thrusting and Dean’s cock found the angle it needed to keep giving pleasure to his brother’s prostate and as he helped him ride out the orgasm, he felt his balls drawing up tight and knew his own climax wasn’t far behind.

“Dean!” Sam’s cry was broken and ragged as he rode it out, his fingers digging into Dean’s shoulders as his brother’s hips began to thrust counter to his own hips moving until he could feel his inner muscles contracting around Dean’s cock and heard his brother’s sharp breath, telling how close he was. “Please, need to feel you when you come.”

Dean’s teeth and mouth were in constant movement now as they trailed over Sam’s jaw and neck, sucking hard when he got to his collarbone and knew he’d leave him with a mark. “Sammy, by the time I’m done with you this weekend, you’ll be feeling me into next week,” he promised, voice gravelly and pure sex as he fell back to his back to thrust up once to urge Sam on. “Let me see you make me come.”

“God, I forgot what your voice can do to me,” Sam moaned, unaware of his own words and whimpers when he began to thrust harder until he could see the lust filling Dean’s eyes and felt the moment Dean’s orgasm hit because his cock struck Sam’s prostate one final time before the warmth of come shot out to fill him.

“Ride it out, Sam,” Dean’s fingers were tight on Sam’s hips to keep him steady as he rocked a little harder as his body milked Dean’s cock fully until both brothers were gasping but Dean was ready to support him the second Sam’s strength gave out and he collapsed forward. “Easy, I’ve got’cha.”

His own orgasm had worn him out but riding Dean’s out with him took what strength Sam had left, leaving him boneless against his brother’s chest; not caring if they both were covered in drying come Sam just needed to feel Dean’s heartbeat.

Dean shifted a little to help Sam ease off of him, a little surprised at the feeling of loss at not having his brother’s heat and tightness around him but figured Sam felt the same way when he whimpered a little but then he felt him curling against his chest like he would as a kid when sleepy and clingy and smirked a little.

He wasn’t a big on cuddling or so some of the women he’d been with had told him but Dean had never denied Sam this time after sex and he also didn’t seem to mind it as much if he held his little brother after they’d made love…not that he’d ever admit that willingly to anyone, including Sam.

It was several moments of silence before Sam stirred, becoming aware fully again to feel the gentle fingers carding back through his hair while he could feel Dean’s other hand placed protectively against his hip. He also realized they’d both been wiped clean of come and sweat with probably his t-shirt since his brother hardly ever used his own shirts for that detail.

“Thank you,” he whispered again, not expecting a reply since anything close to one would be pushing Dean’s no chick flick moments rule but was a little surprised at the light kiss to his head and the husky voice he heard.

“Thank _you_ for giving this to me again, Sammy,” Dean had cleaned them both up enough to sleep for the moment and figured a shower would wait until his brother was able to stand fully and they ate…then he’d just get Sam back in bed again. “I don’t deserve you, little brother. I really don’t after the crap I’ve given you all your life so…I…”

This time it was Sam’s mouth instigating a soft kiss that slowly heated until Dean’s fingers in his hair tightened enough to make the younger man moan, breaking it enough to lift his eyes. “You deserve me and so much more, Dean,” he murmured, hating it when his brother thought less of himself. “I’m yours. I always have been yours and I always will be…until you don’t want…”

Cutting that off before Sam could finish it, Dean’s tongue plunged deep with heat and want but still found a way to keep it from going too far right then since Sam’s grip on his hand was weak which meant his brother needed sleep.

“Always mine, baby boy,” Dean told him thickly, smoothing a hand over Sam’s face before tucking it back under his chin as Sam settled against his chest with his head laying over the fixed anti-possession tattoo and Dean’s heart beating steadily. “Get some sleep, Sam. We’re safe here and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Sam’s voice was slurred with sleep and exhaustion since it had been a long time that he’d slept peacefully and he’d always been able to sleep like this, with Dean’s heart close to his ear. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean knew what would be coming and figured after all the hell his brother had been put through lately that it wouldn’t kill him to say the words more than he normally did.

“Love you,” Sam yawned, curling tighter into his brother’s warmth and relaxing at the feel of strong fingers stroking back through his hair and fluttering over his cheek.

“Love you too, little brother,” Dean murmured, keeping his touch light as he felt Sam fall to sleep and he stayed awake a little while longer to just watch his brother sleep; going to sleep only once he was certain Sam was relaxed and looked like he’d stay that way for at least a couple hours. “We’re gonna be good now, Sammy. Promise.”

** Monday morning: **

Letting herself in her house quietly, Jodi Mills was a little surprised to not see a mess waiting for her but she paused outside the living room at the low sound of the TV playing. Sticking her head in to see some morning news show playing, a soft smile played on her lips as she glanced toward the couch.

“Sleep down here last night?” she asked softly since she knew Dean was wide awake under those long lashes hiding his eyes.

“No, but little brother didn’t want to be in bed when you got home since I haven’t exactly told him that you know yet,” Dean yawned, too early in the damn morning to be up but didn’t feel like spoiling Sam’s mood by dropping that bomb on him yet. “He feel back to sleep as soon as he sat down though since the kid didn’t sleep much this weekend…for some reason.”

Jodi heard the smirk in his voice, sticking her tongue in her cheek as she eased closer to see the way Sam seemed to have fallen back to sleep with his head on Dean’s shoulder but it was the way his one hand seemed to have crept under his brother’s black t-shirt and the easy way in which Dean just seemed to accept it as his fingers went through long soft hair that made her smile.

“Don’t say it,” Dean warned, ready to groan when he stilled at her soft touch over his shoulder. “He’s ruining my image, I know.”

“You love him and your image was ruined already,” Jodi replied, heading to the steps. “Will you be here when I get home tonight?”

Dean shook his head, having known his brother was ready to move on and felt the same. “We’ll be gone when he wakes up,” he told her, seeing her nod. “Jodi, thanks for letting us stay the weekend. We needed the time alone and you were right…a motel probably wasn’t what he needed.”

“And I don’t need images anymore than Bobby did,” she laughed, going up to change and seeing that by the time she got back downstairs to head to work Dean had fallen to sleep as well and she carefully laid a quilt over the boys that she thought of as hers now as much as they were Bobby’s. “Just look after your brother, Dean,” she whispered, determined to make sure that asshole in her jail never bothered the Winchesters again even if she had to lose the key to his cell herself.

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long but had a small delay over the weekend. I want to thank everyone who read this and I hope the final chapter suited (I know, I know but not killing him leaves it open to do it one day) and will look for more Wincest coming soon. Thanks.  
> Remember if you want to touch bases or get story updates I can be found on Facebook under morganaDW.

**Author's Note:**

> Of course I left it there. I’ll update soon. Thanks for reading.


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